intense chaos

Rush Limbaugh, Birth Control Thoughts

2012-03-05T08:41:00.000-05:00

A direct quote from Rush Limbaugh's quiet and insincere apology: "What happened to personal responsibility and accountability?"

Well, Rush, Republicans are trying to take that away by making birth control unaffordable. Women want to be "responsible" and "accountable" but if birth control is unaffordable, they'll have unprotected sex. Then we'll be paying for more kids on welfare, which will be a much bigger expense than subsidizing - indirectly, or not at all - the cost of birth control. Because let's face it, sex is going to happen whether there is birth control or not, and let's not blame it on women solely. Because unless it's lesbian sex, it involves a man too. And it seems to be the men who want to destroy the freedom of women.

Where, in all of these discussions are the questions about how this affects men? I'd think men would embrace the idea of being confident they can have sex with a partner and it won't result in a pregnancy. As a 31-year old, I can't think of a single male friend in my life right now, married or not, that wants to play Russian roulette with impregnating his partner if they're not ready. And THAT'S "responsibility" and "accountability" and it's not just for women. And don't hand me crap about condoms, because we've heard all the stories about men poking holes in them or they simply just break. Why can't women be in charge of their own well-being? Why is it up to the men?

For both men and women to be responsible [and accountable], birth control needs to be available for women because we're the ones who get pregnant. I pose the question to all the boys out there trying to deny women this healthcare: What would your hearts and minds would say if every time you had heterosexual sex, you were the ones at risk for getting pregnant?

I was reading an article that stated that 99% of women having heterosexual sex have used birth control [I was looking for a reliable stat on how many women who do not have heterosexual sex take birth control]. But more interesting than the article itself was this comment:

For what it's worth, I'm a lesbian on birth control. ;)

Cramps are a real bitch.

The author then responds by saying that 14% of women on the pill use the medication for non-contraceptive reasons. I was one of these women at one time in my life. I wasn't even sexually active at that time.

I think when Republicans or conservatives or however we're classifying insane people these days, make assumptions about the sexual habits of a woman on birth control, they need to realize these few simple things:

It's none of our business how any woman conducts herself sexually. It's wonderful that women are taking their own health into their own hands and taking the steps needed to have the life they want. Men do the same every day.
For every heterosexual woman deemed promiscuous, a slut, a prostitute, there is a MAN sleeping with her, so perhaps we should stop using that demeaning language. Or start calling men promiscuous, sluts, prostitutes, and have those words mean the same degrading garbage and not be a cute phrase for a frat boy with an STD.
It is not wrong for a woman to want to have sex, a lot of sex, no sex. It's not our business. And her being on birth control does not speak to her sexual habits, but rather her desire to not get pregnant [which can happen to the most sexually boring woman in one sexual encounter with a sexually boring male] or...
...her desire to take care of another medical issue regarding hormone imbalance, pre-menstrual pain, acne, cancer prevention, endometriosis, cysts, etc.

Rush, your apology was absurd. And even if I did believe a single word of it, it doesn't actually excuse you from saying any of the things you said about Sandra Fluke. Sandra Fluke was not testifying because she wants to be able to have as much [responsible] sex as she wants [which is her business, not ours]. She was testifying on behalf of women needing healthcare, medications some can not afford because of her school's close-mindedness. What drugs do they refuse to cover for men? The things you called Sandra Fluke, the things you accused her of do nothing to improve this country. When do women get to take away your Viagra, your Cialis? When can we stop getting emails in our spam folder about pills that will enlarge [y]our cocks? Men have five birth control options: abstinence, condoms, outercourse, vasectomy and withdrawal [this last one doesn't even actually count]. When men have a pill that can stop the production of sperm but allow their bodies to react sexually the way they want, a temporary birth control option, women will rejoice. And I don't think we'll want to take that away from men. We won't tell them they must have sex and be able to support a pregnancy. We won't take abortions away from them, we won't call them sluts. We'll call them responsible. Just like you want.

Jawbone

2012-03-02T16:32:00.001-05:00

Jawbone!? JAWBONE!?

This is what my WonderTwin calls me. Because mine doesn't work. It's like that endearing little nickname "Tiny" for a guy pushing 450. Or "Bubba" for the girl on my high school soccer team who was actually third in her class and went to Dartmouth on a full ride and probably owns your soul in some way.

Jawbone.

Today I was told for the cool HUNDREDS, my dentist, who is solely responsible for jacking up my jaw, could fix my jaw. Here's a thought, how about for the cool price of ZERO DOLLARS?

Behind my computer monitor at work is a photo of a tiger baring his teeth. I feel like the only reasonable excuse for my jaw not to work is if I were that that tiger and I'd just opened my mouth up that much to dispatch a Sasquatch or bear or an entire logging company's worth of men.

Anyway, for no other reasons than 1] I'm pissed about my skull and 2] I REALLY love tigers, here is the photo.

Shambles Thursday ::: Nothing Edition

2012-03-01T15:10:00.001-05:00

I had a bad night last night. The kind in which when I wake the next morning, this Shambles Thursday, I have puffy eyes and a headache and the feeling similar to how one might feel when an 18-wheeler runs them over, backs up over them, and then drives back over them.

So, good talk. I've got nothing.

That means I leave you with this, a fun little image sent to me by the incomparable Amanda Davis. Is it weird that I wish I was the guy in the red shirt in this photo?

Wednesday Photo

2012-02-29T10:33:00.000-05:00

East End, probably 2006.

More Santorum

2012-02-28T15:01:00.000-05:00

Santorum, you've probably heard, becomes nauseus at the thought of JFK's speech about the separation of church and state. He claims, in his interview with George Stephanopoulos that no government has the right to force its views on anyone.

Somewhere, a little lady named Alanis is singing a song called Ironic and laughing that at least she got to play Jesus in Dogma.

Here, Arlen Specter discusses how badly Santorum would represent America. I wish he'd stop calling him Senator Santorum. That's like calling Palin Governor.

Pat Buchanan, for stinking sake, thinks the GOP is overreaching on birth control. Yeah, that's right. Pat Buchanan. Now, he fully believes women are the devil and that Santorum may be correct, he's just beyond the public. You know, as a doctor, as a medical professional. Or as a woman, who knows her own body. Now I've just gone and confused myself.

Here, Santorum blunders more. He doesn't think we should have apologized for burning sacred Islamic texts because obviously it was an accident [cough]. I'm not sure how he'd feel about anyone burning the Bible, but I guess that's a double standard for another time. At any rate, burning the Quran was a mistake. So, next time I'm coming out of the bathroom, and the door hits into an office mate, I'm not going to apologize, because I didn't mean to hit them, I had no idea they were there. Just like, when in ultimate, stupid players contest fouls because they "didn't mean to trip you when you were cutting." Seriously. Where are his manners?

Here Santorum is misconstruing JFK's words. Again. He's so awesome.

He talks about how bad it would be to privatize religion. Yet, as a GOP candidate, he stands for privatizing just about everything else. Environmentalism, industry, healthcare, education, you name it. So what is it? Private or public? Or would his position better be summed up like this: private-when-it's-financially-beneficial-for-already-upper-middle-class-straight-white-Christian-people-with-money-to-invest and public-when-he-wants-to-rule-with-an-iron-fist-regarding-lgbtq-or-women's-rights?

Sorted.

Weekend Rage, Angry Monday

2012-02-27T15:36:00.000-05:00

The more I read the news regarding a subset of citizens [LGBTQ], the angrier I get. For instance, Megadeth [not a misspelling...by me, anyway] frontman/bassist Dave Mustain spoke out against marriage equality using this amazing reasoning...

Do you support gay marriage?
I'm very conservative. So, take it for what it's worth.

Washington State, just this week, the governor signed gay marriage into law. Do you support gay marriage, or is that something you oppose?
Well, since I'm not gay, the answer to that would be no.

OK. What about for people who are gay?
Since I'm not gay, the answer to that would be no.

Would you support legislation to make marriage between a man and another man legal?
I'm Christian. The answer to that would be no.

Mustain [a born-again Christian], I'm right-handed, I don't think left-handed people should be able to buy milk. Also, I played the violin, I think bassists shouldn't' be allowed to drive cars. I'm female. I don't think men should have the basic right to health care [since, let's face it, no one wants women to have it]. I purposefully included examples in which traits are both inherent or chosen. I can not chose to be left-handed. I am right-handed. I can train my left hand, but I will always be right-handed. Christianity? We choose that. He is choosing to be born-again. I don't. And as such, I don't have to adhere to the same rules as he does religiously. Yet he, among say, Rick SANTORUM [who he has all but endorsed], disagrees. It is his very reasoning that resulted in slavery, the Holocaust, really any genocide you can imagine, etc. You can read his interview HERE.

Pop quiz question: in what Christian religion is it written that someone different from you should be discriminated against solely for possessing an inherent difference?

Answer: America.

Openly gay Destinie Mogg-Barkalow's wrote an editorial called "Prop 8 generates more hate." In her piece, the 20-year-old called out Prop 8 supporters as intolerant and bigoted. And then was punched in the face by another woman in a parking lot, after the woman [and man she was with] verified it was, in fact, her that wrote the piece. Ironic, much? Have whatever reaction you want to her actual writing, but did it deserve a punch in the face? If so, then so does everything anyone writes in the press. Authorities are possibly considering the attack a hate crime. Possibly? You have to ask yourself, would she have been attacked if she was not gay? If you answered no, then it is a hate crime. End of story.

On top of this, I shared words with a ridiculous mom over the weekend about aggressively confronting a friend of mine with a tone so accusatory of something not to be joked over [inappropriately touching her daughter, which, for the record, did NOT happen, let's set the record gay], I'm so fired up today, this Monday, February 27th.

But I am happy to report that hKL's Winter League team is currently in first with a 1-point victory over former frontrunners this past weekend and two other decisive victories. Yes, I live vicariously through her now that I don't play ultimate any more, so it's a good thing she WINS ALL THE TIME.

Happy Angry Monday, Tigers.

A List of Things I Need

2012-02-24T14:08:00.001-05:00

This may come unexplained, and you'll have to deal with that, Tigers. But I need to write a list down somewhere that I can keep track of it and find it later.

So, things I need:

a chemist
an accountant
a lawyer
a giant space
a lot of bricks
foam
an oscillating fan

If you can help me out, it'd be greatly appreciated.

Happy weekend, Tigers.

Le Sigh, Gasp, Harumpf

2012-02-23T15:22:00.000-05:00

It's not a bad day, but unless I go on and on about how much I'm adoring listening to Greg Proop's Smartest Man in the World podcast, I don't have anything to go on here.

I am [un]happy to report I lost my competition at the climbing wall to get to the next rank of difficulty before my friend. He got his goal on Tuesday, and added insult to injury by having me spot him. I'm happy for him. Really. Next time, I will kick his shins hard.

Okay, back to Greg Proops. I like that he calls his listeners kittens. Because they're tiny tiny adorable tigers. Like you guys. If you haven't heard him, listen to some of his rants about TSA. You'll be on the floor in a puddle of human laughing until you lose your job.

Wednesday Photo

2012-02-22T12:13:00.001-05:00

These are from a big trip I took with two friends after graduating from college the first time. We lived for some absurd amount of days in a 2-person tent, the three of us, stinking to high heaven. It was an amazing, amazing trip including, but not limited to a mechanical bull ride, an incident with a snake, rigorous hiking, a wigwam, some petrified wood, lots of laughs and a lot of great memories.

We went to the bottom of this. ROCK.

The Colorado River. It'd prove very refreshing to cool off in after 9 or so miles in 100+ degree heat with 25 lbs on our backs.

The guilty party. In oddly matching blue.

Goofing around, shocking I know.

Value Our Families

2012-02-21T14:04:00.001-05:00

I'mma just let this guy take it.

Read HERE.

Thanks, Frank Bruni.

The Bee Bee Cee

2012-02-20T14:07:00.002-05:00

I haven't cited the BBC in a while. I found this today - a VIDEO about how conservatives and liberals see the world, literally. In their study, researchers find that conservatives focus on negative imagery longer while liberals focus on positive imagery longer. This may explain the overabundance of negative attack ads from the conservative side along with sweet conspiracy theory about Obama's terrorist ties [because of his Muslim background, or something else made up], and the big scary gay machine. At any rate, it's 4 minutes, so give it a watch.

Here is an article about wealth. I like, that in it, one guy says that amassing wealth isn't bad. And I agree with him. But I also find it odd that "Joseph" identifies as a republican who is fed up with the candidates. Well, Joseph, I imagine I'd be fed up too, if the people I identified with were bitchslapping me across the face as I worked really hard to get poorer and poorer while they got richer and richer and I kept voting for them expecting something to change.

99%. Wake up Joseph. Wake up.

Call to Action Friday

2012-02-17T14:11:00.000-05:00

The country was aflutter yesterday at [and after] the hearing about birth control, as it should be. Why, for shit's sake, would you have a group of men be the ones making decisions about women's health? This is not 1503. Women are allowed to go to medical school. A lot do. I know a bunch personally. Every gynecologist in the practice I go to is female save one guy. From this, I can gather there are women qualified to make medical determinations about women. Next time we have a panel about the validity of covering Viagra, please let's put a bunch of women on the panel - and no men - and see how the guys react.

The truth is simple. These men are scared. Of what, I'm not sure. But scared of something, maybe female empowerment, maybe the thought that we can make decisions for ourselves, that maybe we don't want to carry their seed each and every time we bang. Maybe that we just might need the chemicals contained within birth control for other medical needs apart from not getting pregnant.

I don't consider America a forward-thinking nation. I don't consider America on the forefront of anything save excess. As a female who identifies as non-straight, I don't even like America.

I have taken birth control. I was prescribed "the pill" in conjunction with another medication at the age of 17. I wasn't getting my period. The birth control was not prescribed to keep me from getting pregnant. I was uncooly very sexually inactive at 17 and would remain so for a number of years.

In the eyes of my church [men, and the psychotic women who blindly agree with them], I was a sinner for that. As a 17 year-old virgin with no intention of losing my virginity anytime in the near future.

Still being a minor on my dad's insurance, I didn't pay for the prescription, he did. It was partially covered. Imagine, had he not been working for a secular company, if we had to pay the full price for this medication just to keep me safe, but not to keep me from getting pregnant from all the sex I wasn't having. My story is not new. It's not uncommon.

Contact your representatives to tell them about science. And tell them women's health and reproductive rights should not be up for discussion. Unless we get to tell men "no sex with women not on birth control." [For the record, I totally know a guy who'd take a pill to stop production of sperm in his body if it allowed everything else to act per the usual. I wonder if that would be up for federal discussion.].

In other news, Oklahoma looks to implement its own version of DADT. This comes simultaneously with Oklahoma electing its first openly gay Senator.

The New Jersey Senate passed marriage equality on Monday by a vote of 24-16. The House then passed the same bill yesterday with a womping victory. But neither were enough to override Governor Chris Christie's ability to veto [which he has said he will swiftly do, calling the bill "theatre"]. At this current time, 54% of NJ supports marriage equality. If the majority of its citizens are in favor and both houses pass the bill, shouldn't Christie sign the bill into law? I say yes, even if he is personally against it. He was elected to carry out the will of the people in his state. He is a civil servant by title. The two houses should be representing their districts and he, the state. The people say yes. The Senate says yes. The House says yes. He is not performing his job duties.

But what's worse is that we're squabbling over civil rights in the first place. I get it that states want their autonomy and based on how vast this country is both geographically and intelligently, they need it in many cases. But imagine the outrage if a state wanted to make slavery legal again. Imagine if interracial marriages were illegal in some states. I'm serious, this is simple human rights.

I've tried to keep my friends' political positions out of our relationships. Whether they're for private health care and education versus public doesn't much affect our friendship. We'll disagree about that just like we may disagree about sushi.

But know this LGBTQ bigots; by considering my relationship second-class based on your antiquated and religious views of marriage, which has no place in this civil arena, you have determined the outcome of our friendship. Don't invite me to your wedding in the future. Your dress has become ugly. Don't talk about your marriages, never mention your spouse. Don't tell me about hospital stays and insurance problems and any-fucking-thing relating to a legal relationship. I don't want to hear about your completely protected annoying kids. Because I have absolutely no problem with your hetero marriage. I applaud you for your accomplishments and think your love is great. But mention any of these lovely things to me while voting to keep those things out of my life and I will break your fucking jaw.

Shambles Thursday ::: Lunch and Learn Edition

2012-02-16T14:51:00.002-05:00

When you struggle with depression, some things are hard to take. In my case, I expend a good portion of my energy getting through the work day putting forth my "Yeah mate, everything's dandy. Cheers," face. It's weirdly British. When I get home, I crash.

This is old hat for me. There are ups and downs and I will work through it. I'm not diminishing the suffering a depressive [is that a word?] faces, I just know what this one [me] needs and will have to weather.

And what I can say for sure, is it makes dealing with the little things hard sometimes. LIKE FOR INSTANCE, if you make me go to a mandatory meeting at noon and have the melons to call it a "Lunch and Learn Session" you better, sure-as-fuck, have lunch. That's my lunch time. Full stop. Lunch is the best time of my day. It's when I gather with my coworkers and we have conversations as inappropriate as you can imagine - times fifty - so we still feel human after being beaten down so hard in our cubes. DO. NOT. call it anything involving the word "lunch" if you aren't going to have food. Seriously. If I had the ability to go on a Greg-Proops-type rant, I would.

And while I'm shambly and things are crumbling a] because it's Shambles Thursday and b] I don't feel good right now, if we, America, could stop using who-the-fuck I am as a political launch pad, that'd be brilliant. I'm convinced no one "against it" actually gives a shit about marriage equality, it's just a brilliant springboard for fancy, dramatic politics. Rick-Fucking-Santorum? Come on, he's got like seven thousand kids [plus the one he and his wife aborted]. He's a bit busy to be worried about marriage equality that strongly.

For the uneducated, here is what HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT. If you dig it, go to Yezak's Kickstarter page and fund his project. Do something worth doing today. Or at least provide lunch.

More education:::

second class citizen [n] 1. a citizen, especially a member of a minority group, who is denied the social, political, and economic benefits of citizenship. 2. a person who is not accorded a fair share of respect, recognition, or consideration.

Wednesday Photo

2012-02-15T11:06:00.003-05:00

I took this photo in 2007 the day of my cousin Alan's wedding. The reception was in this awesome broken-down warehouse kind of building. Floors were unfinished, lots of exposed brick, totally my thing. I loved this shot because it seems like people walking on a street like this shouldn't be wearing the clothes they were wearing. So here it is, your Wednesday photo. In the photo: my brah, Billy, mom and Missy.

Unrelated: hKL beasted her first V3 last night at the climbing gym. Onward and upward!

Happy Valentine's Gay

2012-02-14T09:18:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, the New Jersey State Senate passed marriage equality by a vote of 24-16. They crushed it. It wasn't even close. Governor Christie has promised to veto it. Had the Senate given 27 votes, it would have overridden his ability to veto. Damn it.

Senator Gerald Cardinale (R-Bergen) is against equality. He can be quoted saying:

The essential characteristic of a marriage, the very definition of the term, is it involves at least one male and one female. Do not break with thousands of years of civilized tradition. This bill opens Pandora’s box.

Rather than his poor grasp of the English language, can we focus on how he said thousands of years of civilized tradition in which marriage involves AT LEAST one male and one female? Well now, that's odd. America [a secular, cough, country, cough] hasn't even been around for 300 years, let alone thousands, and nowhere, 'cept maybe in creepy Utah and Nevada, can a man [and not a woman] take more than one spouse, and that's usually gross as shit because some of those women are a ripe old 14.

And if a guy takes, say, three wives, aren't the wives in a gay marriage with the other wives? This is so confusing. Really. And it's not same-sex marriage that put that confusion on the table.

And I question "thousands of years of civilized tradition," because I recall all kinds of arranged marriages against the will of either one or both marrying parties, child brides [still cool in some parts of the world], plural marriage [which, personally, I don't care about one way or the other] and marital rape [still rampant] and... well, "civilized." He hit the nail on the tail.

At any rate, this will probably be vetoed. And it makes sense. Two non-straight people I don't know who want to get married definitely definitely ruin the sanctity of the marriage of, say, hKL's parents [from the Dirty Jerz], and definitely cause all the young couples who aren't married and definitely aren't already banging each other to run from each other and start hooking up with members of the same gender identity. Let's face it, the Bible notes something about butt sex in the form of military rape and that can solidly be interpreted as instruction for gay bashing and unequal rights. It also says something about gluttony, but Guvnah Christie seems to have glossed over that in a greasy haze.

I wish I could remember where I read, yesterday, about someone's argument for equal rights using the tax idea. It's not a new idea, but I like how they put it. Damn, I really really wish I could remember where it was. They said something about how LGBTQ pay the same taxes as non-LGTBQ and don't have the same rights. Then they quoted some definition of slavery that basically equated LGBTQ with modern-day slaves.

Now, before you get all up-in-arms and yell at me about how being LGTBQ is/was nothing like being owned by another human and forced into labor and potentially very brutally treated, I'm not equating being non-straight with being a slave. Frankly, I like being non-straight. And I'd hate being a slave. But it was an interesting take with regards to paying the same taxes and not getting as much for that. Like, how sweet would it be if I could pay a tax rate 10% less than straights because I'm non-straight and don't have as many rights? Just think of how many republicans would come out of the closet! This is, of course, ignoring the Michelle Bachmann stance that I do have the right to get married. To a man! Hell yeah!

Anyway, you know, Happy Valentine's Day and all that. I hope you have something to do tonight that makes you happy, whether it's with someone else or not. I hope that for you every night. That you can sit and read a book or watch TV or go for dinner or bang or do a crossword puzzle or drink a beer. I want for you to be happy, Tigers, no matter what community you're a part of. I also think happiness will be easier to achieve when we're all treated equally.

So here's a big happy Valentine's Gay wish for all of you. Nice work New Jersey Senate. I applaud you for voting for human rights.

Hearts and chocolate, Tigers. Hearts and chocolate.

Monday. How Will I Know?

2012-02-13T14:54:00.000-05:00

It was with quite a bit of shock that I found out Whitney Houston died this past Saturday at the age of 48. I remember my neighbor getting Whitney and us listening to it, on repeat, roughly 739 times. What a voice and what a train wreck wrapped into one monstrous diva.

To pay our respects, hKL's winter league team went 3-0 that Saturday night using pre-game cheers inspired by Whitney's lyrics.

It was a run-around weekend, starting with climbing on Friday, then drinks with friends. Saturday hKL and I had dinner with some friends from out of town then buggered off to winter league where she pounded face.

Sunday we went climbing again and I'm wrecked today. After that was Family Dinner. Family Dinner consists of getting together with Professor Ice, DRH and TJ, each of us bringing something to the table, except me [but I did the dishes] and carrying on in the way one might in a college dorm room. I like our Family Dinners. It's a bunch of retired ultimate players [minus hKL], some more pregnant than others, some more pregnant with more babies than others, reminding each other of why the last ten years of our lives were awesome and consider how great the next ten will be.

Here are some snippets of some conversations that happened over the weekend:

e: You're amazing, did you know that?

k: No.

e: Then I need to tell you more. You're amazing.

k: Did you put the pasta in the fridge?

e: Yes. I'm also amazing.

[In my defense, I put that pasta in the fridge at like 1a. It wasn't as if I finished dinner at 630 and immediately packed that stuff up. This was an amazing feat.]

k: I like your jawbone and cheekbones and nose bones.

[In her defense, I probably have many nose bones, considering its pretty wacky status.]

e: Am I dysfunctional?

k: Yes.

e: I want to be functional.

k: How can I help increase your functionality?

[No defense.]

Hope your Monday is great.

Just Your Average Conversation

2012-02-10T10:01:00.000-05:00

I've been sitting on these phone screen shots for a few days now. I thought they'd make great blog fodder, but there was all kinds of other things going on this week [California, Washington, big glittery victories] that I've just been hanging on to them. Well, Tigers, it's Friday, and now is the time.

You have to understand, my brother and I are both incredibly cynical, incredibly straight-forward people. We don't beat around the bush and we usually have something else going on in our head other then what the topic at-hand. That being said, here is a conversation between him and I earlier this week:

Happy Friday, Tigers, and may your weekend be filled with cheer and blue skies.

Edit: my friend Bomtron just sent me this Bad Lip Reading of SANTORUM. Immediately go here.

The State of the State of Washington

2012-02-09T08:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the state of Washington saw the House of Representatives passing same-sex marriage, or, as I like to call it, equal rights for humans, by a vote of 55-43. The Senate passed it last week. Guvnah Christine Gregoire will have 5 days to sign it into law. She's behind it, so you know, SIGN THAT PAPER, SISTER.

It's a good week to be part of the LGBTQ community, though there isn't really a bad week to be who you truly are. Earlier in the week the 9th Circuit in California found Proposition 8 to be unconstitutional. These are victories everyone deserves to celebrate [kazoo noise!].

Undoubtedly, scared homophobes will push for some kind of "oh no you didn't," so the fight really never stops, but today, we can smile, knowing some of our fellow countrymen on the left coast can enjoy the freedom most Americans get to enjoy without thinking about it.

I was climbing last night and the radio station playing [102.5 WDVE] asked, how would you react to same-sex marriage in PA? It's a classic rock station, so make whatever inferences you want about the people inclined to call in.

One woman said, "I mean, everyone has to do what they have to do, but I think it's wrong."

Another woman said, "Men think it's gross when two men are together but they think it's hot when two women are." I'm paraphrasing this one, but it just goes to show how far we still need to go. This isn't some fantasy. This is real, human life. That I could totally muck up and marry a nice young boy just to divorce five years later but can't marry the woman I love is so entirely backward I don't know how to stay calm. On a road trip this past weekend I saw a billboard [Rt. 28 for anyone who is interested] that said something like "MARRIAGE IS ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN" and had a beautiful stock photograph of a senior couple smiling [website here]. I got super pissed. Then I thought, well, that's not wrong. It's just not all-encompassing. Why don't we ask Newt Gingrich how many women, exactly, marriage is.

I'm not going to stand on any soapbox today. Because today I'm going to bask in the glory of Washington's victory. And California's victory. And be proud that despite a lot of people's best efforts, LGBTQ humans are gaining human rights. And if it takes a one-by-one approach to get there, we'll get there, so it may as well happen nationally, because we'll get there. We'll keep fighting and educating and signing petitions and voting and loving each other and being well-rounded, productive members of the human race.

Washington. They have apples and marriage equality. Sounds pretty good to me.

Wednesday Photo

2012-02-08T09:40:00.001-05:00

I snapped this in Vienna of this nicely dressed man riding his bicycle to his destination. Look at the street behind him - not a single car. He reminds me of a math professor I had in my days as a math student. Europe is pretty cool, far as I can tell. I've only been there a few times, but I'm super psyched to go back.

May your Wednesday be filled with happy thoughts and at least one song that gets your heart pumping.

California Dreamin'

2012-02-07T14:23:00.002-05:00

The Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has determined Prop 8 to be unconstitutional. San Fransisco earns major glitter points. But all joking aside, thanks for all the hard work by the lawyers [one republican, one democrat], the couples and foot soldiers to get this victory. It shouldn't have taken this long and will likely be appealed, but it's a step in the right direction.

Will it hit the Supreme Court? Only time will tell, and when it does, we'll be ready.

Keep fighting for equality, Tigers, keep fighting.

Snowboarding Chumly Frankenstein Icicles

2012-02-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

Confused?

Don't worry. It happens to most people when I try to describe my family. This past weekend hKL and I traveled to a far away land in north central PA to visit my cousin. We were meeting my brother and his fiancee there too, to do some combination of snowboarding and skiing. How do you do that with no snow? you ask...easy. The slopes were snow-covered despite there being no visible snow anywhere else [this is us unloading - no snow].

We had a combined family dinner that night and then I went insane with my cousin's kittens. Please allow me to introduce you to Chumly and Frankenstein, two sisters who I'm pretty sure stole my heart and chomped on it and decided they never want to see me again.

Here is hKL with Franky:

Me and Chummers:

Then the cuteness became too much. Way. Too. Much.

Then I 100% lost my freaking mind and beasted the kittens. I have never felt so much joy as I am exhibiting in this photograph.

Sunday we went hiking. Things I learned or reinforced for myself:

Crossing a creek is hard when all the rocks are encased in ice.
There is always a way down, across, up, through, over. Always.
Ain't no idea a bad one if you have the right shoes.

No snow. No big deal.

Billy considers his options to get to the top of that waterfall.

hKL thinks this is a very, very bad idea. The Stevens convince her everything will be fine.

Time to scramble.

We put our best faces forward half way through the first waterfall ascent. Billy and I also provide photographic evidence that we are not the same person.

Here is a weird 360 degree panoramic of one of the waterfalls. In it, Billy loses his arms and hKL loses her face. There is also a black shark swimming through it. So that's cool.

Rock. And ice.

Cousins, not siblings. Promise.

Warm to the touch.

Another brilliant idea.

Adorable times 7286689782.

Weekend Boob Thoughts

2012-02-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

You might have heard that the Susan G Komen Foundation pulled it's roughly $700,000/year funding to Planned Parenthood. Despite your feelings on abortion, which is likely the first thing you think of when you hear the words Planned Parenthood, Komen's funding wasn't going toward abortions. It was going toward cancer care, preventative and post-diagnosis. Federal funding can't be used for abortions either, but that's not the issue here.

Because of a SGK Foundation policy, they can't give money to non-profits under federal investigation. Anti-women, anti-lgbtq douchebag Cliff Stearns [R-FL] has launched an investigation into Planned Parenthood because he hates the fact that women can make their own decisions. Ergo, no money from SGK. No money for services unrelated to the things Stearns hates [abortion], but rather, services needed by hoards of women, many who could otherwise not afford care.

THIS article details how people freaked the eff out. As well they should have. There was dissention in the ranks of Komen [high-ranking official Mollie Williams resigned, among many others], the interwebs hit their spaz buttons and Mayor Bloomberg will match a donation of up to$250,000 of his own money for the health organization. More from the article...

Dr. Kathy Plesser, a New York City radiologist and member of Komen’s scientific advisory board, said she would resign if Komen did not reverse its decision. “I strongly believe women need access to care, particularly underserved women,” Dr. Plesser said. “My understanding is that by eliminating this funding, it will jeopardize the women served by Planned Parenthood in terms of breast care.”

Other donors put pressure on the Susan G Komen Foundation to reverse their decision or they'd pull donations [I suppose they had to weight this against the people who would pull donations if they continued to support Planned Parenthood].

This morning, after women and men who respect women put their fists down, Komen reversed its decision. More information can be found HERE [posted 12 minutes before I started writing this blog post].

So here's the thing, Tigers...we all have our deeply-rooted beliefs about abortion. It enrages people to the point of assassinating doctors. But this wasn't about that. It was about cancer. Susan G Komen's money was not used for abortions, which only accounts for about 3% of Planned Parenthood's services. Komen's money was used for screenings, mammograms, etc. If you've had a relative with breast cancer, you know how scary and relentless this disease can be. Think about the women who can't afford a fancy oncologist for a screening. Think about the women with no family support. Think about your own family members and friends going through any of this without support. And thank Planned Parenthood, who, despite their misleading name, offers that healthcare to these women.

Internet, way to step up. Way to make SGK and their stupid [in my personal opinion] pink ribbons take note. Breast cancer isn't a pink ribbon. It's scary and it kills people. And many of those people can be saved.

Shambles Thursday ::: Mouthpiece Edition

2012-02-02T13:39:00.003-05:00

Two Tuesdays ago [Foursdays ago? Sorry, dumb math joke], I went to the dentist for some, ahem, shall we call it, lack-of-diligence work. It went fine. I got home, I drooled everywhere and bit the living hell out of my tongue thinking, I don't remember pasta being this gummy.

As the numbing agent wore off, I grabbed an ice pack, laid it on my pillow, put my face on it and went to sleep.

Waking up and feeling your face again is sweet. It's like, oh hello there, you look familiar, have we met?

My jaw was sore, but that always happens when I go to the dentist because of a lambasting I took when I was about 12 playing some foosball [I assisted a goal with the rebound off my face, by the way, despite not knowing that at the time - consciousness is totally overrated]. Usually that soreness goes away in a day or two.

Not this time. This time it got worse each day, shifting from a violent and painful unhinging to the inability to really open my mouth much at all Some of you may appreciate this - though I must specify, it didn't keep me from talking, just eating giant sandwiches, yawning or giving vocal concerts at high volumes in my car. And it was also incredibly painful.

I went to see the dentist today at lunch. They did electric stim on my face for more than 45 minutes. To all of the athletes out there who've had plenty of experience with this treatment on your back, knees, shoulders, Achilles, etc., you can imagine how ridiculous this felt. The machine pulsed every second, which meant every second, I blinked, whether I wanted to or not. I tried to doze off, but each second, I was woken up by my own face.

Then they gave me a mouthpiece. I have to wear it for two days. I've just transported back to 7th grade when I tried [and failed] to make headgear cool. I lisp horribly with it in. No big deal, I work in advertising, I never have to talk [cough, vomit, here comes my mouthpiece, quickly projecting from my mouth].

Yeah, I'm the coolest kid ever.

In other news, here are two photos of my brand-used friend:

She is leaning against the wall next to our snowboards that we're depressingly unable to use right now. I haven't named her yet, and will entertain suggestions. Fire away.

And happy Thambelth Thurthday.

Wednesday Photo

2012-02-01T08:53:00.000-05:00

This winter has been a little disappointing. With a tailbone finally intact enough to snowboard, the lack of snow has been frustrating. So far, we've only gone twice. We're planning on visiting a cousin to do some more this weekend, but the forecast doesn't look good. At any rate, a few weekends ago we had enough snow to make the city look nice and decided to take a walk.

It gave me the opportunity to wear the adorable hat my aunt got me for my birthday, so for that, I am grateful. I was also grateful to be able to try Sinful Sweets for the first time. If you like chocolate, you should go there. If you don't like chocolate, seek help.

Intense Chaos Turns Two

2012-01-31T13:46:00.002-05:00

This blog just had a birthday! Two years ago, I had no idea what form it would take, how long it would last or who would read it.

Today, I'm proud of what it's become; a non-expert editorial of how I feel [and no one else, really] about an inappropriate number of subjects. If you look at my labels over here ------>

...you'll notice I have interests in quite a few things [in no order]:

Politics
Religion [and how it relates to politics]
Music
Ultimate Frisbee
the Outdoors
Climbing
Family
Friends
hKL
TIGERS
Dmitri
LGBTQ issues
Humanitarian issues
Women's rights
Travel
Nature
Environmentalism
My hometown
Design
Shambles Thursday

The list goes on and on. And I don't plan on cleaning it up. For a while I thought I should trim it down and blog about something about which I know much. Then I realized that isn't anything at all. I'm a self-admitted non-expert and I like that about my blog. I like that I have to research things before writing about them, that I can't just throw words down and expect you to believe them. I've learned a lot writing.

I'm celebrating by buying my blog a birthday present - a brand-used, not-shiny bicycle. Look for it crumpled on the side of the road with me underneath it, probably bleeding profusely.

Happy birthday Intense Chaos!

Weekend Recap? Sure.

2012-01-30T14:37:00.000-05:00

Friday: climbing. Hard. Got a new V3 route and a V2 that had previously been stumping me. Then DS, JC and hKL and I went to D's where we came up with the most brilliant business plan of all time.

Saturday: JP came over [not to be confused with JC, which confuses hKL] and hooked up my computer with some swag, then, with his mighty powers of height, hooked up some speakers in a high, out-of-the-way place so we can blast Lady Gaga from any room from any device at any time in our life. This pleases us greatly.

Later, DT [in town for a conference] and theDump® met hKL and I at New Amsterdam for some foodz and beerz before we [tried to] hit up Arsenal Lanes. How the lanes were already booked at 9:02p when it opens at 9 is beyond me, but we needed a contingency plan.

Obviously that plan was to ice skate. Outside. During a wind storm!

What I like most about the photo is how hKL looks like an eskimo and DT looks like hKL since she is wearing her hat. TheDump® and I are simply working our eyebrows.

Sunday: hKL and I met DT in the Strip District for some breakfast noms. We were first in line. Victory! She buggered off back to DC, we did some grocery shopping and then went climbing again with DS, JC and MM. I got 2 more V2s and made some progress on a V3 [my next beyotch] and a handful of other previously unclimbed V2s.

To say I'm exhausted is an understatement. I had to go to the chiropractor today to get my arm put back in its socket correctly [again]. I am also going to have this kind young gentleman try to correct my jaw. Because having a jaw that doesn't work is less-than-ideal and hella painful.

Anyway, it was a sweet weekend. Lots of good people, lots of activity and lots of fun. Happy Monday, Tigers.

Friday Inspiration

2012-01-27T11:42:00.001-05:00

Do you need some inspiration? Warning, NSFW - because you may tear up. You may cry like a baby. You may end up curled up in a puddle below your office chair because, sonofabitch, some things are just. so. inspiring.

I warned you:

A MESSAGE from Gabby Giffords [I'd post the video, but this isn't working at the moment.]

Wasserman announces Giffords's retirement HERE.

Success. How bad do you want it? THIS guy wants it badly.

Honestly? REALLY?! Never give up.

And for my climbing readers, HERE is this video, complete with good music, badass moves [the dyno at 6:32? Yikes] and probably ads for a dating service for climbers.

Have an inspiring weekend, Tigers.

Miscellaneous

2012-01-26T14:04:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking about what to write today. Not a lot comes to mind. I took a big chance today that I can't quite tell you about, but maybe in a few days I'll have something to report.

It was one of those things I've been thinking about for a while, then yesterday as my mind wandered, I decided to go for it. Like I said, can't really talk about it right now, but when I hear back, I'll let you know.

I'm not pregnant, by the way.

Tonight is the first and only night this week I have nothing planned for the evening. I was excited to catch Modern Family via the interweb, but it doesn't seem like there was a new episode. My WonderTwin has confirmed this.

In other news, MAINE is throwing marriage equality on the table. Go Maine! Hopefully they'll pass it, then they won't be the only New England state that doesn't have marriage equality or civil unions, and then they won't feel like that inadequate kid in class who acts out for attention. You're pretty, Maine, now show us some substance.

On the opposite end of the rectum, er...spectrum [wow those words are close] is SANTORUM's stance on abortion. Again.

May your Thurdsay be shambles free.

Wednesday Photo

2012-01-25T22:14:00.004-05:00

Better late than never, people sometimes say. I haven't been around a 'puter today until now. I had an off-site meeting at work, at which after doing a personality analysis [Myers-Briggs], found out I am part of only 1% of the population with traits such as:

"...is dumbfounded that people do not see things as clearly as [I] do."

and, "hates repetition and valueless time."

Like that was some kind of secret.

Anyway, I then hit the climbing gym with DS and JCB, and almost got a new V3 and completed my first shoeless climb without using my feet at all. HULK. OUT.

Then I visited my godson. Which is always a smashingly good time, especially since his new favorite game is to organize pillows on the floor and throw himself full-blast and head-first into them.

I made it home at 10p.

Here is your Wednesday photo:

V3, Love, Crime

2012-01-24T13:30:00.002-05:00

Got some new V3 routes at the climbing gym last night. I really think my new shoes helped. I picked up THESE. I'm normally a 7.5 shoe size, I got these in a 7. So far, really pleased.

I was also totally psyched by the guy climbing with weights in his pockets. Well played, sir.

Watched the French film Love Crime last night after reading lots of hype. It was very well acted, but I have to say, I wanted it to be better than it actually was. For me, the problem was the music. It made it a little unbearable at times.

Sorry for the ridiculous photo yesterday. And I don't mean that as an insult to the woman in the photo [who I randomly found in a quick image search]. I mean that it had nothing to do with anything [except buff chicks, I guess]. So today you get the poster image for the movie I saw last night, which is not an endorsement, just a really, really nice bit of imagery.

Wow. I really want a cookie.

New Shoes, Buff Chicks

2012-01-23T15:11:00.000-05:00

Snagged a pair of new climbing shoes this weekend, which will hopefully help me conquer some more technical routes. I don't like using equipment as an excuse for failure, but honestly, if I could trust my feet more on some tiny jibs, I wouldn't have to use my face as a plinko piece when I'm trickling down a wall after an unexpected foot slip.

This weekend hKL wanted to undertake a few new recipes. She crushed some homemade orange chicken and then we made some buffalo chicken dip last night. For anyone who was looking for actual buff chicks based on the title of this post, see below:

Okay sorry. Sorry, tigers. Happy Monday.

Dutch, Personal Questions, Etta James

2012-01-20T14:43:00.001-05:00

I thought it was rather bold of hKL's phone to ask her if she wanted to purchase a Dutch female for 99¢. She went for it, by the way. Technology is amazing. With the push of a non-button, you can order yourself all kinds of things. It's weird. Call me old-school, but I thought this is what the bar was for.

In sadder news, Etta James died today. Born to a 14-year old mother, she struggled with drug addiction, but totally belted some tunes.

In happier news, I'm eating a mini Twix bar. Score.

Happy weekend, Tigers.

Once Upon a Monkey

2012-01-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

I really have nothing today, to write to you. I don't think. Maybe if I ramble enough, something will come of this post, but as of this moment, I don't hold out much hope. You should probably quit reading right now.

Tori Amos's Your Cloud just came on my shuffle. Great song, but kind of a sleeper, so I'm hoping it will pick up.

In the world of politics, Rick Perry [who pronounces "million" like "meeyun"] dropped out of the presidential race today and endorsed Newt Gingrich. He also said the phrase, "I don't get confused." This was in reference, I think [I got confused], to him not forgetting what the mission is. And that mission is beating Obama. And then I turned off the press conference, because despite trying not to be prejudiced, I find it quite scathing when a republican is talking about religion. I mean politics. Shit, Freudian slip? Who's to say, they make them the same thing.

In other wildly disgusting republican political news, it has been determined that Rick Santorum actually beat Mitt Romney in Iowa. Which really gets us nowhere. Except maybe closer to hell.

When I get sad, I think of this guy [my cat through the door to a secret dimension]:

Happy Shambles Thursday, Tigers.

Wednesday Photo

2012-01-18T11:02:00.000-05:00

Found this in an old folder of photographs. You know, nature vs man-made and all that.

Focus on the Family. Actually, Please.

2012-01-17T13:55:00.001-05:00

I'm swiping THIS inspirational video from a blog I read yesterday. I like it. I like the style and I love the message.

I'm posting it in response to the Focus on the Family video that aired during playoff football over the weekend. I won't link that here. It was a spot featuring kids, maybe all between 7 and 10 years old quoting John 3:16.

It burns me up like some kind of venereal disease might burn a careless frat boy that FotF has the nerve to use child-pawns to say, "for God so loved the world, the whole world, everyone..." Well, you know the verse. If you don't, it goes like this:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life

Anyway, that's the verse. And it pisses me the hell off that my quick and careless search for the verse does not use the phrase everyone, but the commercial did. Because Focus on the Family firmly believes no one loves the gays [except other gays, obviously], especially God. That gays are sinners and an abomination and all this other bullshit that makes no sense. That's their schtick. The commercial itself? It was fine, I guess. Commercials sell us messages and we have to decide to buy into them or not. It doesn't matter if it's Christianity or beer or a Ford Focus. I'm pissed about the messenger. Because for a lot of unsuspecting, good Christian people, they don't know that FotF works relentlessly to limit the rights of the LGBTQ community, which heavily weighs on their families.

The unsuspecting, good Christian person then supports Focus on the Family because their message seems innocent enough. It was just a Bible verse, right? They don't know they campaign heavily aside candidates like Rick Santorum and Rick Perry so that, should they be elected, they'll do everything in their power to demonize and criminalize LGBTQ people, and make sure they remain second-class citizens.

Maybe you're someone who does not believe homosexuality is a valid character trait like left-handedness or brown eyes; that it's some made up rebellious phase to draw attention to one's self. That's your prerogative. But if you truly want to focus on the family, consider this; in states that do not have same-sex adoption, a child born to one partner could enter the state system upon that parent's death, despite having a willing parent at home. Because, according to the law, the second parent is a legal stranger. Or, because that second parent is a legal stranger, they may not be able to take the child to visit their parents [the child's grandparents] for a weekend if those grandparents live in another state, or they can be arrested for kidnapping. Maybe the biological or adoptive parent is a stay-at-home parent, but if that state does not recognize same-sex adoption, the child can not have the working parent's health insurance from their employer. Then you wonder why your taxes increase for a growing number of welfare recipients.

You see, this has nothing to do with homosexuality. It has to do with children. Families. And not focusing on them. If you're a bigoted homophobe, wear it on your sleeve, please, so we all know. But do you hate children as much as you hate gays? Because that makes you insane. And the combination of insane bigoted homophobe makes you someone I never want to know.

So again, here is the inspirational video.

Weekend Wreckage

2012-01-16T13:43:00.000-05:00

It was a good, physical weekend. Friday saw D.Rock and I climbing. I wrecked my arms crushing my first V3 since I started climbing.

Then, hKL and I got up at gross o'clock to meet up with D.Rock to drive up into New York to do some snowboarding. Couldn't have been better conditions - there was no snow in Pittsburgh and tons and tons of snow in New York. And it continued to fall. It was a great day on the slopes. I think I got a little better on my board and despite me trying to kill D.Rock getting off the lift, was otherwise uneventful.

hKL had two ultimate games that night at some ungodly hour. She won them both, like she does. The 41-14 spread was pretty impressive. She, personally, scored 4 points in a row [2 1-pointers and a 2-pointer].

We got up sore as hell on Sunday to head back to the climbing wall with MM, JC and DM and today, I feel like every part of my body is a giant bruise. But I crushed my V3 again and I'm psyched to keep it up.

Happy Monday, Tigers.

Red-Headed Siren Showdown

2012-01-13T13:44:00.000-05:00

We all know there is nothing normal about redheads. They can't be trusted. I don't think anyone is disputing this. From what I understand, they even lack souls, though I don't necessarily want to jump on board with that.

My iTunes shuffle has pitted two of them against each other today in a showdown.

Tori vs Flo

This is fortunate for me, this battle of weirdness and insanity. Below you'll find a mix of closer-to-natural red and what each artist has determined makes their head look most like a race car. It's your call on what looks best. I prefer just listening.

Have a happy and safe weekend, Tigers. If there is snow, go play in it. And wish my real, live tiger, Tango, good luck in eating some tasty meats in Siberia.

Jump? Jump.

2012-01-12T11:04:00.001-05:00

Remember Kris Kross? My WonderTwin brought them up today, and we watched about 15 seconds of their Jump Jump video before it got to be too much.

Back in the Beta times, when video tapes were short and squat, my neighbor and I made a music video to either Jump Jump or I Missed the Bus [I don't remember] because we both had Starter shirts [Mighty Ducks!] and I borrowed a pair of my brother's jeans. We threw that garbage on backwards, stood backwards since we didn't know the words to the song, and bounced around like idiots.

Good times.

What are they up to now? Looking good [see below]:

Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly runs his own indie label, C.CO. Records, based in Atlanta. Despite cancer rumors, Kelly has gone on the record as saying he suffers from alopecia.

Chris "Daddy Mac" Smith has completed an album of titled Urbane Expressions [unreleased]. He also claims he's finished a book of the same title that includes original poetry, photos, artwork and short stories.

Rumors of a reunion circulated in 2007, but no one ever got jumpin'.

Wednesday Photo

2012-01-11T11:10:00.001-05:00

There's probably all kinds of meaning in this photo. Who cares? Here it is, from 2007.

Flo, Machines

2012-01-10T11:36:00.001-05:00

Florence + the Machine has been keeping me from going Columbine in the office today. As I wrestle with this most current bout of insomnia, each little task seems incredibly daunting. Yesterday I got my groove on at work and designed from sit-down to get-up-and-leave. But I may have used up all my juice. Seeing the clock at 12:06, 1:53 and 3:16 last night was disappointing. Seeing 5:anything just plain sucks.

Seriously, it's hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake him off.

I'M TRYING FLO, I'M TRYING.

I Don't Like Mondays But I Do Love Tigers

2012-01-09T13:19:00.000-05:00

It was fitting that Tori Amos's cover of I Don't Like Mondays queued up pretty early this morning in my shuffle. I've been having trouble catching up on sleep since I've been battling a cold/other issues.

At any rate, that's okay, because the day instantly got better when my WonderTwin exclaimed at lunch: I made the fuck outta this sandwich.

He sure did.

This past weekend was good, despite the heartbreak of the Steelers losing. I had dinner with some of the world's greatest friends as a belated birthday get-together and at that birthday, received the greatest gift of all. What is that, you ask?

A TIGER.

Somewhere, in Siberia, there is an Amur Tiger running around that has been adopted in my name by CP. His name is Tango and I love him. This is a dream-come-true in the best sense; my desire to have a pet tiger and my desire for tigers to run free, away from captivity. Now I do have a tiger and he's running free.

I hope he kills something today.

53 Degrees, Tom Cruise

2012-01-06T14:28:00.001-05:00

If you are a reader who doesn't live in my City of Champions, you may not know it's currently 53 degrees outside. It's gorgeous. Sunny. A bit windy, but since it's so warm, it doesn't matter.

EXCEPT IT'S JANUARY.

And January is for WINTER SPORTS. Sorry I'm yelling, but January is for winter sports, and it's hard to do winter sports any other time of year except winter. I can play ultimate or climb or hike in any season. Spring...summer. Fall, preferably, for ultimate. Winter too. But I can't snowboard in May. Or August. Or November. So if you're someone who doesn't believe in global warming, I'd like to remind you of a little time I call 7th grade when we were off school for a week because of the snow. I needed that time off to catch up on some reading for English class and also to build a snow fort with my bff DK. And destroy my tailbone [the first time] sledding in the woods without a sled.

hKL has her fancy 980 Friday off today and she took off to a nearby mountain to snowboard. I haven't heard from her, but when I checked the website for that mountain, it said 50. FIFTY. She may as well be log rolling down the slopes.

Now that I think of it, this is a completely great idea...

Completely unrelated, my friend CP saw Tom Cruise today on location. I'd be more excited if I thought Tom Cruise had a single redeeming quality. But still, pretty cool for the City of Champions to be hosting so many big names for movies in the last year.

Happy Friday, Tigers. If it's warm out this weekend, go outside. If it's cold out, go outside to convince the weather you think cold weather is a good idea.

Shambles Thursday; Inside-Out Shirt Edition

2012-01-05T14:14:00.001-05:00

This morning:

hKL: Your shirt is on inside out.

me: Damnnnnnnnnnnnn it.

So you see, Shambles Thursday is alive and well.

Tonight I was going to take a look at a bike I saw on Craigslist for $50. It was a beautifully ugly shade of brownish-orange and yellow. The owner said he or she was 6'7 but the bike was a 53cm frame. Given I should ride a 52cm frame at 5'6 I can't help but laugh picturing this person riding the bicycle with their legs splayed out to the side while pushing hard on the pedals and leaning full-tilt over the handle bars. They sold it to someone else.

So, Ugly Bike, it was nice almost maybe getting to know you.

Wednesday Photo

2012-01-04T09:24:00.001-05:00

There used to be two cats in my life. I still have the giant blonde guy, but I thought I'd visit my folder of photos of the two of them when they were actually cooperating with each other.

In the first one, I like how stunned they seem to be. In the second one, I like how they're super freaking snuggly.

Exploding Yogurt

2012-01-03T12:31:00.000-05:00

This is how my day started. Obviously. With an exploding yogurt. With every intention of packing a healthy lunch [no chocolate, depressing], I grabbed a yogurt out of the refrigerator this morning, promptly watched it slip from my hand, tried to kick it back up to myself, but rather, instead, just caused it to explode everywhere.

Today isn't bad, just frantic. And spastic. And like everyone else who had a three day weekend, all I can think about is going back to sleep. Also, no one tell my WonderTwin I've used a bunch of his tissues from his desk, though I'm sure he somehow intrinsically knows.

Speaking of my WonderTwin, he works from home today, and I, tomorrow. Given this schedule and the holidays, I haven't seen him since December 12th which is shitastic. Our next meeting will be Shambles Thursday. I'm scared and excited for this.

Happy Back To The Real World, Tigers. May your Tuesday be less explosive on the dairy front than mine.

2012

2012-01-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

I consider myself lucky. I've seen a lot of poo, but not as much as a lot [most] of people, and I'm surrounded by love and humor and hugs. I hope you are too. If not, here's a giant hug.

I'm trying to make myself better all the time. I think my 2 foci [call them resolutions if you want] in 2012 will be:

Go outside

Snowboard once it gets cold...seriously...help me out, weather
Hike often
Find a group of people who have experience climbing outdoors, but don't mind me not having experience, and do my first top-roping outside
Run
Find a crummy used road bike or change out the tires on my mountain bike so I can commute via bike a lot more efficiently
Don't get hit by a car while performing the cycling from #4
Take some outdoor photography

Simplify

Continue to donate the things I don't use
Consolidate
Remind myself that the things I have and have had for a trillion years are still good enough and don't need to be replaced [I say as I wear a shirt from 2003]

Tell me your resolutions if you have them. Or tell me why you hate resolutions. Or sing me your favorite song. But whatever you do [or don't do], have a great 2012. Be good to one another [overly dramatic Bill & Ted's guitar stroke], be good to our planet and be good to yourself.

A Look Back at 2011

2011-12-30T09:51:00.000-05:00

Like I did in 2010, I will review the year, month by month with a global event, a personal event, and my favorite blog entry.

January

Jared Lee Loughner kills six people and critically wounds intended target Gabrielle Giffords.
My cousin is shot twice in a mugging/gang-related incident gone wrong. His efforts to fight the perpetrator lead to police identifying and finding the criminal.
My ODE to my cousin

February

Tunisia, Egypt and Libya erupt in revolution
They catch the guy that shot my cousin. Boom.
I introduce, officially, my WONDERTWIN to the blogosphere

March

Charlie Sheen is fired from Two and a Half Men
My godson is baptized
WORDFLOW

April

China detains artist Ai Wei Wei
I complete the pushup challenge by doing 100 pushups in 1 set
My OPEN LETTER to USAU garners more hits and comments than any other entry

May

The world is set to end in the Rapture
The world doesn't end in the Rapture
Tad's GUIDE to the Rapture

June

New York passes marriage equality
New York passes marriage equality
33-29

July

The American women fall to the Japanese women in the World Cup after putting a brilliant game together, but sucking in a shootout
I get one of the best layout Ds in the history of the world during the Wildwood Beach Tournament
A PLETHORA of things

August

Lady Gaga, Hilary Rodham Clinton, Michelle Obama, Ellen DeGeneres, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann were on the most powerful women's list
hKL becomes the winningest female in CPU Summer League history at 3. She won these 3 championships in a row.
O'Donnell WALKS OUT on Morgan interview

September

Australian researchers discover a new species of bottlenose dolphins. Australians can also now choose "indeterminate" as their gender on their passports. Australia wins September. The Occupy Wall Street movement also begins.
Hot Metal goes undefeated at Sectionals, taking the 1-seed into Regionals for the second time in Pittsburgh's history
Santorum still SUCKS

October

The Italian appeals court overturns Amanda Knox's sentence for sexual assault and murder of her former roommate
I visit my aunt Mary's gravesite, memorial trail and old stomping grounds
National Coming OUT Day

November

The story of Jerry Sandusky's widespread child abuse breaks
I spend more time outside than I have in a long time, and not a single day of it is playing ultimate
World Population GO

December

The United States Senate votes in favor of extending the payroll tax cut for two months
I take off most of December
I RANT about stuff

Happy New Year, Tigers.

31

2011-12-29T14:07:00.001-05:00

Here's a shot of a birthday, not mine, but I'm in it, so unless I divulge that, how would you know anyway?

Happy birthday ME. And happy anniversary to my cousin AH and his wife BH.

Wednesday Photo

2011-12-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

After too much cheer and joy, this is what happens:

Baby, East Stroudsburg, Blue Tequila

2011-12-15T16:12:00.000-05:00

First, Santa gets a cuteness makeover and no longer sports himself a fat old man trying to get into your house via chimney and instead, sports himself an adorable little 14-month old with a giant dog friend named after a firearm. Given that Christmas was originally a pagan holiday to begin with, not a Christian holiday, I'm fine with all of these things.

Second, I'm East Stroudsburg at the moment, trying to figure out if these 50-degree temperatures are going to make it possible to snowboard tomorrow. Either way, East Stroudsburg is a glamorous place. It has a highway, a Days Inn with a TV [luxury!] and probably at least four restaurants.

Which brings me to my third point: the Blue Tequila. This restaurant is attached to our hotel and though we haven't tried it, we're psyched to learn this is also where they set up their continental breakfast. IN THE BLUE TEQUILA. Lil Grin, I feel like this would be your place.

Fourth. I AM ON VACATION. I'm going to be gone from home for a while [nine days] so my ability [read: desire] to write may be limited. If I miss a day or two or seven, it's not because I don't love you, tigers, it's because I AM ON VACATION and will probably not pop into a lodge midday to write a blog post, but rather wreck a lot to gather some memories to write about later.

That being said, if I don't see you for a few days, have a fantastic non Shambles Thursday and Friday and weekend. Stay safe and go outside.

Wednesday Photo

2011-12-14T10:53:00.002-05:00

Christmas, 2001. Note: Dmitri, under the left end table.

Vacayday

2011-12-13T17:20:00.000-05:00

I took a vacation today, in which I scheduled a vet appointment for my little man Dmitri [sorry buddy!] and a doctor appointment for myself [gross]. I did a short run with my dad and we chatted over coffee. All in all, a good day, I suppose. Except for pending tests [who doesn't love tests? Me. It's why I went to art school, sort of.].

Dmitri needed to have his teeth cleaned, a process that involves knocking his cute ass out, and upon waking, the vet told me, over the phone, he was a "mean drunk." Exact words. I'm so proud. She actually told me he was in his carrier yelling at them, telling them how much he hated them. Then she said, "...well...you know him."

THAT'S MY BOY.

Best Friends

2011-12-12T09:05:00.000-05:00

You're right, it doesn't get much cuter.

TGIF

2011-12-09T09:06:00.001-05:00

Uno: Hilary Badass Clinton says some THINGS. They resonate with at least me.

Dos: Rick Perry also says some THINGS. They resonate with me in a bad, bad way. At least there is this that came with a caption something along the lines of: for a guy using homophobia to win votes, maybe he shouldn't take fashion cues from Brokeback Mountain. See below:

Tres [and completely unrelated]: the best texts currently in my phone...

WonderTwin: I'm pretty sure you, me & [coworker] could beat the New Directions at Sectionals.

Me: Ohhhh shit that's bad. I mean you can sing, but I don't know a thing about [coworker] and I'm TERRIBLE.

WonderTwin: Yeah it doesn't say a whole lot that [coworker] may be our Mike Chang.

There is also: Drunk flossing is hard

Happy Friday, Tigers.

Kicking & Screaming

2011-12-08T13:07:00.001-05:00

I saw my 8th and 9th grade gym teacher today. The one that pushed me to the ground and kicked me - the neon polyester/nylon-suit donning, fluorescent-eye-makeup wearing, curly-mullet hairstyled gym teacher that absolutely. hated. my. guts.

She looked exactly the same.

In her defense, I was kind of obnoxious [really obnoxious]. But I was 14. And I was never misbehaved, just obnoxious.

When it came to rules like, if you try hard and put forth your best effort, you'll get an A for the day, I was on board. As one of the top 2 female athletes in my class, this meant I was kicking everyone's ass. I loved gym class. But she told me to chill out. I chilled out. And then she told me I got a C for the day because she knew I wasn't performing to my highest potential. She said this in front of everyone in the locker room. So I tried hard. And then I got in trouble. I asked her when she was publicly scolding me, What was it? Try my best and win or not try my best?

"Don't question me."

"Why?"

"Get out of my class."

This happened a lot.

I remember clearly in one 8th grade gym class being the pitcher in a game of slow-pitch softball, something at which I'm terrible. The other team in the class had the girl who ended up with a full scholarship to college for pitching. My team had members of the DORKestra [me included!]. I could get the ball across the plate, roughly every other time, so this was good enough. But my teacher decided my pitch didn't have enough arch on it. I told her calmly, by mustering all the will in my 80-some pound body, that I don't play softball, and I'm trying my best.

"Put more arch on it."

Obviously my reaction was to throw the ball as high as I could. Unfortunately, it landed on the plate and I said, "strike!" The girl at-bat laughed hysterically.

"Erin don't put so much arch on it."

I reverted back to my original pitching style, the granny underhand. Here's what I recall: wearing red Umbros with white trim, a white soccer tshirt with my number on the back [24!] and mint green Adidas Gazelles.

I also remember her storming off the bleachers toward me, for what I thought was going to be a demonstration on how to throw a freaking ball. And I remember thinking, hmm, she's walking kind of fast, and I think she'd be slowing down by now since she's getting kind of close. And then...she did it. She shoved me backwards in my shoulders, kicked me lightly and asked for the ball. I was so shocked I could do nothing but laugh at how silly it all was, and I rolled the ball past her as I sat on the floor. She stormed after the ball and told me to get out of her class.

I vaguely remembering my mother requesting I get the other teacher for 9th grade gym class but being told that teacher only had 7th and 8th grade classes. So freshman year I got to see this teacher every day for sixth period, alternating between health and PE.

I remember talking about eating disorders and her mentioning that it's all the media's fault. For example, we never saw overweight gymnasts on TV, they only showed the skinny ones. I raised my hand, as a recently retired competitive gymnast and said, "You don't see overweight gymnasts on TV because there aren't any."

"Yes there are."

"No there aren't. There aren't overweight gymnasts at my level. And there is definitely no way someone could do the things those elite athletes are doing while simultaneously being overweight. I think there are more instances of eating disorders amongst dancers and cheerleaders and runners than gymnasts."

She scoffed and asked how many of my teammates were anorexic or bulimic. I told her zero, which was true. I told her with the exception of a few media stars like Christy Henrich, I had never met or heard of a gymnast with an eating disorder in the ten years I was active in the sport. She told me I was stupid.

Fast forward ~15 years. I made it through gymnastics without having had an eating disorder. I've never had an addiction. I have never been arrested and I can reasonably throw a ball in a casual game of softball. And I only have this woman to thank.

Wednesday Photo

2011-12-07T10:04:00.001-05:00

Does this seem as ridiculous to you as it seems to me?

Customer Service

2011-12-06T14:22:00.001-05:00

It's a consumer-driven time of year. And a few places deserve a customer service aggressive hi-five.

I placed an order on Sunday afternoon at Zappos for some outdoor gear. It arrived at my house on Monday. One day. Like 18 hours. Wow. And a return policy of 365 days. That's awesome.

REI: bring back anything you've bought there. Ever. At any time, for any reason.

It really seems silly to have customer service that's less-than-amazing. When I return an item that just doesn't seem like a good Christmas gift, I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be scoffed at and I don't want you to be rude to me. I'm not allowed to be rude to people at my job. And this is your job. You're not being paid to be rude. You're being paid to complete my transaction, and if you think about it more fully, create a return customer. Be a douche, I'm not coming back.

My aggressive hi-fives today go out to Zappos and REI. And tigers.

Gorillas, Other

2011-12-05T15:00:00.001-05:00

HERE is an article from the BBC about a young gorilla family that suffered a loss. It's heartbreaking, really. Not because I know any of the gorillas involved and not because I'm humanizing them. But because we're just a hop, skip and jump from gorillas ourselves and it's hard not to feel connected to these incredibly intelligent and capable creatures.

Very controlled breeding seems criminal, but zoologists perform this with a lot of species to ensure genetic diversity and keep inbred animals at a minimum. Just like in West Virginia, if there is no one else to mate with, animals will mate with close relatives which create weaker offspring. This is why when, for instance, a female tiger has a litter of three cubs, when the male cub is old enough, he will be removed from his sister[s] [or vice versa] so he can breed with an animal with no relation.

The best thing we can do to insure genetic diversity among the world's population of big mammals - apex predators - is to conserve their space. The smaller we make their space, the more inbreeding they'll do out of necessity [and probably boredom] and the entire food chain, down to the plants, will suffer.

When we break up their space with development/logging/etc, we create barriers between unrelated animals meeting each other. Let's hope scientists and geologists can figure out how to keep each of these apex species and maybe eventually figure out how to integrate them back into the wild. I don't think it's too far off.

It's Black. It's White. You Know It.

2011-12-02T10:31:00.001-05:00

Okay okay. Despite the reckless use of a Michael Jackson lyric, can you please take a minute to read THIS article? Read it. Then think about it.

I think the freedom of religion is incredibly important. For many devout followers of <insert religion here> they are a believer in <whatever> before they are <nationality>.

In my past, I was taught in CCD [I can't remember what this stands for] that we are Catholic before we are Americans. Our belief in Jesus Christ comes before our love of country, heroin or rockabilly music. It comes before everything. And why? Well, because when you kick it, bucket-style, Big G and his cohorts [Jesus and the Holy Spirit? I don't remember that either] decide if you get through their bouncer, Pete, into their party [heaven] and your life as a Catholic is what they're concerned about. They don't care whether you are American, served in the armed forces [though this may give you a few strikes against "getting in," what with all the violence and all], Chinese, one-legged, a rainbow-colored unicorn who farts glitter, a baseball player or a dentist. All they care about is did you live your life within the code of Catholicism?, which we've evidently decided was clearly [cough] written out in the Bible and then maybe some more rules made up by guys who wear dresses and don't marry women [gay].

I don't know the Bible as well as I used to. Mostly because after I started thinking for myself and stopped letting fiction get in the way of fact, I started coming to a lot of blasphemous conclusions about religion, which is different than spirituality.

The article refers to a church in Kentucky who is openly against interracial marriages. So much so, they wanted to go on record as saying such. But what is race, really? Smart people can tell you the differences between race and ethnicity and heritage and lineage and unicorns who fart glitter, but what I think pastor Melvin Thompson really means is he doesn't like black people. Or maybe anyone from Zimbabwe, even if they're white...it's unclear.

My dad is American. My mom is American. By all accounts, Thompson would allow them to get married. After all, they even both appear to be incredibly white and squirted out two white babies [though my brother appears a bit United Arab Emirati, so go figure]. But if you went all Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and phoneboothed yourself back to, say, 1709 [a date picked randomly that equals "a long time ago in what is now America"] my parents would have had trouble convincing their families and their different Christian churches they could get married.

We'll assume, momentarily, that their families were even over here [they weren't]. My mom is Italian. She's not Jersey Shore Italian. She's normal Italian. Dark hair, tans well, beautiful big brown eyes. In the 70s, she had waist-length straight hair that was Rapunzel-thick. She makes a mean gnocchi believes in the Catholic church how rational people do; a place to exercise spirituality and hospitality and charity and good-will toward unicorns who fart glitter. She doesn't curse like a sailor [me], she practices the random-at-best traditions of no-meat-on-Fridays and hits up Mass every week. She finds solace in the peacefulness of being within the pews.

My dad is German and Irish. While his father was raised Catholic, my dad was raised Presbyterian because that's how his badass momma wanted it. My dad does not curse like a sailor, he goes to Mass [he is now Catholic] when he's not working on Saturday night and Sunday morning and is the most patient and peaceful guy I know. He decided sometime around my tween years he may as well "join up" [convert to Catholicism] because that's the church he was sitting in with his family anyway and he was giving them mad cash like a good Catholic should. That's all they care about anyway, right? To buy dresses for the unmarried man at the front, right?

It seems like the Irish and Italians hated each other something fierce in early America. FIERCE. I'm not talking Tyra Banks fierce, I'm talking gang-wars-in-the-streets fierce, like chains and knives and shit. And Presbyterians and Catholics? Puh-leeze. And you know what? My interracial parents got married anyway and raised at least one well-adjusted and successful child. That's at least 50% which is more than the percentage of votes you need in America to become President.

The truth is, most American people I know who are white are not purely of one descent. Most are some combination of various European ethnicities. Their parents were a barrage of stuff coming in, so they're mixed up. Then they have babies with their birthing buddy and their kids are even more mixed up.

This pastor, in his righteousness, is making a grave mistake. He's turning away worshippers. He's even turning away worshippers who seem to want to be very involved in the church. Listen, you couldn't pay me enough to sing in front of a congregation [and I couldn't pay you enough for the damage I'd cause you]. This couple, the one we need to differentiate for some reason by saying "interracial," is willing to participate and enrich their service. Where is the problem? Is the problem that Ticha is black? Is the problem that Ticha is from Zimbabwe? Is it both? Is the problem that Stella is white? What if Stella were black? Would they be welcome? And why on earth are we still asking these questions? They're trying to be Christian before they're being American of Zimbabwean. I think their god would dig.

Shambles? Meh. You Decide.

2011-12-01T09:19:00.001-05:00

It is technically Shambles Thursday, and since I now know what it feels like to be at the dentist for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS it very well could be. But despite my jaw feeling like I was in an MMA fight, having a headache and a ton of work, I feel okay.

Yesterday was my work-from-home day and my WonderTwin sent me this photo, which he titled Desolation:

It's my desk when I'm not around. And frankly, it is depressing.

Wednesday Photo

2011-11-30T07:50:00.001-05:00

Christmas is coming, which means a few things....

CABBAGE PATCH KIDS AND PLAYMOBIL.

Tuesday Thanks

2011-11-29T10:45:00.001-05:00

A special thanks goes out to the Tigers who gave me great suggestions for hip hop music. I think this is really coming together.

Speaking of Tigers, a special thanks also goes out to Brody for sending me this photo yesterday:

Last night I completed a long traverse at the climbing gym I've been working on for a few workouts. Then I worked on some tough routes with DG. My hands are shredded today and I wouldn't have it any other way. Any time someone wants to sponsor me, I'm ready. Really. I only have one pair of climbing pants and they could seriously use a wash. Every time I toss them into the dirty laundry [which is after every workout], I have to pull them back out to wear them a day or two later. My mom would slap me if she knew how long I've been wearing them without a wash. I'd slap me. Which is why I won't mention it here.

Also, there was some serious rainbow at the gym last night. It was coming out of the woodwork.

Happy Tuesday, Tigers.

Thanks. Giving. Up. Stuff.

2011-11-28T11:57:00.001-05:00

It's been nice to have a break from work. From writing too. When I took on this blog almost two years ago, I promised myself I'd write every day. Except weekends. But there are times in life when stopping your actual life to write something defeats the purpose of even being alive, so I gave myself holidays and vacations off as well. As such, I haven't posted since Wednesday Photo and it kind of feels GREAT.

I hope everyone's Thanksgivings were spent how you wanted to spend them. Eating a lot. Shopping. Sleeping. Drinking. Whatever you wanted.

The break was busy for hKL and I - mostly because every time I tried to relax, she told me I was boring and made me do stuff. So I went climbing on Friday, then had some TeamTime®.

TeamTime is special. When there is so much aggressive makey-outey you can't stop laughing/watching/thinking-wtf you know TeamTime has been successful. I haven't decided yet if that success increases or decreases when you find out a teammate woke up on the floor of the bar in a Mexican blanket the following morning. The jury is still out.

Saturday, hKL was all NO YOU ARE BECOMING TOO LAZY! I went climbing Friday and she didn't, but who's keeping score? ME. Anyway, she made me run over 7 miles. We hit up the Warhol to see the Alex Ross exhibit which was awesome. I don't have much interest in superheroes but I do love me some spandex, so seeing lots of superheroes wearing spandex while I was wearing spandex was pretty cool.

I think we watched a movie that night, but I don't remember at all.

Sunday I jammed on some freelance [gotta get paid!] then we went on an epic grocery shopping trip. Our goal is to eat in every night until we leave on our snowboarding tour. Giving up food that's bad for me and costs a lot is tough. But I'm going to see it through.

I've been listening to inordinate amounts of hip hop and getting ready for Christmas and continuing to try to simplify.

Happy Monday Tigers.

Wednesday Photo

2011-11-23T12:02:00.001-05:00

It's that time of year when people start chopping down trees for Christmas. Here's a shot from the '60s of my dad with his little sister gettin' it done.

Smoke and Mirrors

2011-11-22T13:04:00.001-05:00

For the third night since last Shambles Thursday, one of our smoke detectors has started beeping in the middle of the night, telling us to replace the battery. It's getting old. Same with not being able to see in any of our mirrors because the lights don't work in a high percentage of our rooms. Our house has turned on us. But we're fighting it from within.

Completely unrelated: I am making a mix for hKL. The nice thing about relationships is how you learn new things about each other all the time. Who knew hKL was a closet gangster rap fan? NOT ME. So...if you have any suggestions, please send them my way because when it comes to this genre, I'm not well-versed. If it's not Bone Crusher's I Ain't Ever Scared I know nothing about it. This is kind of blowing my mind since normally she's an Elliot Smith kind of girl, but I'm rolling with it [my homies]. Seriously, suggestions. Give 'em.

Hot Damn!

2011-11-21T16:13:00.001-05:00

Totally forgot to post today. That's only happened one other time [funeral + no internet connection = pass]. Sorry, tigers. Sorry.

That being said, go outside, enjoy the weather [whatever it may be] and get your heart pumping. hKL made me do that twice this weekend. Two days of running in a row after 5 months off. She's a jerk. It feels great. And tonight? Climbing. wOot.

Life, Simplification

2011-11-18T14:10:00.001-05:00

Turns out, I don't need 1400+ contacts in Gmail. Or more than 600 in my phone's address book. Or nearly 700 contacts in Facebook.

It's not that I dislike anyone. I just don't care to log into Facebook and see updates from 250 ultimate players I met once just to find out what my brother is up to. That contact in my phone I kept just in case I was stranded in Atlanta? Okay, whatever. I'll take my chances. I don't see myself actively recruiting for a new ultimate team any time soon [ever again] so those 450 female players in-and-around Pennsylvania? Sorry ladies. If I can't picture your face, you probably don't want to hear from me anyway.

It's the beginning of my quest to drastically simplify my life. Does my life actually become simpler by deleting numbers in my phone? Maybe not. But it's about letting go of what I don't need and these abstract things are a first step. Then we'll move on to actual things and from there, SIMPLE.

And let's face it. When I want to call my cousin Meredith, I don't want to have to type in M-E-R-E and then have to scroll down through three other Merediths to find her. That will save me some frustration, especially when I'm driving with my phone in one hand and a beer in the other. Kidding. But I had four Merediths in my phone. Two I have never once called. One I haven't spoken to since 2009. All but my cousin were ultimate players. Damn ultimate players...

My progress?

-334 numbers in my phone from more than 600

-317 email addresses in Gmail from more than 1400

-278 Facebook friends from about 700

All of these are still a work in progress. And playing ultimate might be what's making it so bloated. I simply know tons and tons of athletes. Facebook might be the toughest, admittedly. It's easy to let go of that guy who I don't know. Maybe I played on a team with him in some far away land like Wildwood, New Jersey and he or I friended the other upon return to our homes but have never interacted since. Some are a lot harder. That girl from high school who's profile picture is a baby of hers I've never met. She updates a lot, not like the guy from Wildwood, so I won't have nearly as much unwanted banter in my newsfeed as before. But I actually know her. And we were sort of friends back then. Though I haven't seen her since 1999. Hmmm.

Let it go.

I'm making rules for myself when it comes to the Facebook contacts.

1. Do I interact with you on Facebook? If yes, you stay. If no...

2. Do we have history and/or an actual real, live friendship? If yes, you may stay. If no...

3. If we don't have a real, live friendship or a long history, do you post interesting articles or links? Do you make me laugh or think or both? If yes, you stay. If no...

4. Are you someone that, when you post updates, I take an interest even though we may not be close? If yes, you stay. If no...

5. Do I think you'd be someone whose feelings would be hurt? If yes, you may stay.

6. Do you post intentionally inflammatory things? You go. I'm trying to simplify. I have friends with very different views than my own, and Facebook and other social media is where I can learn about their points of view. I'm not getting rid of people with conservative political views or someone who hates outdoor activity. I'm getting rid of the people who like starting fights on Facebook, and even though I've learned to stay out of them, make my blood boil.

My family and good friends [who I view as my uber extended family] are the people that make me happy. My mom is a relatively inactive Facebook user [without a profile picture, IRRITATING] so keeping or deleting her really doesn't alter my Facebook experience. But why would I delete my mom? The girl from my photography class I haven't seen since 2006 that also doesn't change my Facebook experience by being there? Sorry, babe. I think we'll both move on, don't you?

Unfortunately Facebook makes removing a contact a giant, slow pain. You can't just click on an 'X' and be done with it. You have to click on their name, wait for the drop down menu, go to "unfriend" [harsh!], click "remove from friends" then click "okay." Then your friendlist has to reload and jump to where you left off. It's many seconds per person, which really gets you thinking about the eliminations and feeling guilty.

Let it go.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

2011-11-17T14:17:00.001-05:00

I was having this dream last night where I was sitting in some kind of waiting room, full of strangers, and every time someone came or went through the door, it would go "beep." It was a short, abrupt beep, sort of loud and definitely obnoxious.

Until I realized I wasn't dreaming. I asked out loud, is that a real noise? No one responded, as you may imagine.

At 4a I realized one of the fire alarms was going dead, and it was reminding me to change the battery. I recalled on Monday night looking up at the one in the family room and seeing the light blinking awfully fast, thinking, that's probably going to go dead soon.

I tried to fall back asleep, but that persistent effing beeping was keeping me up. So I amble up, which is tough for me from sleep with my bad back and I work my way down stairs, where the beeping is louder. This was tricky too, since on Monday night there was a power surge leaving some of our house without power. Just some of it, and the plugs still work. The stairwell is pitch black in the night. Also, our bedroom, bathroom and upstairs doesn't get any light. Nice.

I digress. I get downstairs and look up at this wretched smoke detector on the 10' ceiling and pull a barstool over to it. The lights in the family room work, luckily, so anyone looking through the glass window on the front door could have seen me standing on a barstool, at 4a, in a tshirt and underwear.

I struggle to rip the guts from the detector [beep. beep. beep.]. I'm incredibly groggy and the barstool is wobbling and mostly I'm just pissed that I'm not sleeping. I finally get it, it lets out one long, deafening pitch and goes quiet.

I return the barstool to the kitchen, flick off the lights, navigate the steps in the blackness making sure not to trip on Dmitri and climb back into bed.

Beep.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. I actually yelled an expletive. In the middle of the night. I flipped over violently and pulled the covers tighter over me.

Beep.

This wasn't going to work. I drag myself out of bed. Dmitri hops off, racing me down the pitch black steps, stupid better night vision, and meets me in the kitchen, where he thinks I'm going to feed him. I'm not, so he yaps at me as I rub my eyes and walk into the family room, reilluminate it, again in my tshirt and underwear and stare up at the pathetic-looking detector, wires hanging and the battery sitting on the shelf next to me.

Bastard.

Beep.

It's coming from a different smoke detector. In the basement. Beep. Keep in mind, we have our heat on so low, it's usually not even engaged. Beep. It's freezing. Beep. I'm wearing underwear. Barefoot, I descend into the depths of hell - the basement - which is only reserved for terrible activities like doing laundry and cleaning the litterbox. Beep. I find it. The guilty culprit. More aggressively since I'm not on a barstool 4 ft in the air, I grab at this one from the basement steps. Beep. I wrestle with the wires, cut my finger on some plastic, tear the battery out and go back to bed and never fall asleep again.

SHAMBLES THURSDAY.

Wednesday Photo

2011-11-16T12:32:00.001-05:00

So much 1982 going on here [dad, brah, mom, me]

Mental Illness

2011-11-15T08:57:00.001-05:00

Mental illness is a funny thing. Like, OMG hahahaha, mental illness!

Just kidding. It's terrible. It's hard to have, it's hard to deal with, to love. It's one of the few things, I think, that still has this weird stigma, is a strange taboo. People would rather hear that someone is an alcoholic than has a mental illness.

Maybe it's both words; mental and illness. What, you're wacky in the head? Not cool. What, you're sick? Freak.

Wrong. Mental illness, far as I can tell, is just a chemical imbalance in your noggin. That's it. It's like a club foot or a cleft palette. And like a club foot or a cleft palette, mental illness doesn't just go away. It needs to be treated. There are a number of options, some more intense than others.

Some involve just talking to someone, some meditation, some medicine. Whatever the course of action is, it's not always easy, but the outcome can provide a ton of relief. But the patient has to work at it, just like doing physical therapy after a surgery for a club foot. Some of those days are going to be filled with a ton of pain, but in the end, the patient can walk. Maybe the physical pain never fully goes away, but the patient has a fuller, easier life, one in which they can use all their parts. In the case of mental illness, maybe it's their intellect or emotions they can now take advantage of more easily.

Okay okay. I don't need to [or have the knowledge to] get into the medical blah blah about all this. I have a cousin who is a psychiatrist, she's far more versed than me.

I've struggled with a form of mental illness. Dysthymia. Which is a word that makes me sound like I have a speech impediment [a condition for which people often seek help...and that's okay]. Dysthymia is chronic depression. Depression comes and goes and is, in general, less severe than a case of severe situational depression. They can last for a longer period of time. Causes are not definite but can include brain chemistry changes involving serotonin. A patient might see persistent sadness, sleep problems, insomnia, feelings of guilt, loss of interest and energy and all the other crap that goes with depression.

As a teenager, I thought maybe my depression was situational, the result of losing someone incredibly close to me and being at an age when I couldn't handle that finality. But it didn't go away. For years. And I was embarrassed I felt this way. I didn't know what was wrong with me, why I hated everything, why I was tired all the time but couldn't sleep. It took a complete bottoming out to finally get me, with the support of my parents, to talk to someone.

Did it save my life? I think on the life-death scale, no. I can't say, for sure, I would have sunk so low that I would have taken my own life. I don't like to think about it. I'd considered it a few times, but not with any seriousness; more that "what if I wasn't here?" route.

But it saved my life in other ways. I was able to learn how to get through it. To survive each storm and allow myself to enjoy the time in between storms. I still have storms. But at 30 I'm able to recognize looming storms and talk about it and get-the-heck through it.

I owe loads and loads of thanks to those who loved me through it all. My parents, my brother, my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. My friends. My teammates. My ex spouse. My girlfriend.

But how do you reciprocate? How far can you be pushed on the other side? Concern quickly turns to frustration which turns to resentment which turns to anger. When do you insist on a different course of action? When do you let it go and write the sufferer off? How do you make that decision? When does your own mental well-being supersede that of someone else?

Monday Slumps

2011-11-14T13:02:00.001-05:00

In case you were wondering, nothing you do matters. Not how relentlessly you work, how hard you love or responsibly you live. None of it.

Climbing

2011-11-11T09:55:00.001-05:00

Don't know who this is, but someday, maybe it will be me. Get it get it get it get it get it get it get it get it get it get it get it.

Jerry Sandusky, Joe Paterno, PSU

2011-11-10T12:46:00.001-05:00

You can go HERE to read about Jerry Sandusky. There is a 3:37 video that spends the first 3 minutes telling us how amazing he is. Only the last 37 seconds are devoted to him being a child ..... what? It never says much.

To clear it up, he's a child rapist. The Grand Jury Testimonial is available lower on the page in PDF form. I read it. It's 23 page of him molesting and raping young boys who were part of his Second Mile program, and no one doing anything to stop it, despite their knowledge.

I encourage you to read it. I encourage you to become as enraged as you should become when you hear about how he did this to at least 8 kids over the course of about 15 years. HERE is a video of the Morning Joe crew discussing it. It's not shocking to hear that the DA is getting more calls about more victims. I also heard that he pimped kids out to the highest bidder [according to a snippet my Mark Madden].

I'm angry. I'm angry at a lot of different people I don't even know. First and foremost, Jerry Sandusky who clearly has no idea how to behave as either a straight man with a serious, serious problem or a sexually repressed gay man pretending he's not. I'm angry that once again, "the Institution" wins out. Penn State isn't a church [sorry, guys, it's not], so little boys on its campus shouldn't feel sexually unsafe. In fact, the only people that should feel sexually unsafe are girls at frat parties, right? Jesus Christ.

I'm angry at McQueary, the 28 year-old who walked in on Sandusky anally raping a 10 year-old boy who turned around and walked out. Cat got your tongue? I get it that that's the last thing he expected to see when he walked into the locker room on campus. But he came up with nothing? Not, "Hey, Jerry, get your dick out of that kid's ass?" He didn't rush over to the two [who acknowledged his presence] and tear the sick child fucker away from the kid he was raping?

He reported it, thankfully. The school's solution? To take away Sandusky's keys. Why not take away his penis? His penis seemed to actually be the root of the problem, not the keys.

A janitor witnessed Sandusky performing oral sex on a minor. Another janitor witnessed two sets of feet under a shower while he was waiting to clean it [the same instance]. Nothing. NOTHING.

Joe Paterno was fired over the matter this week. He was supposed to finish the season, but, you know, in light of the CHILD RAPE the university fired him. The students are protesting "the legend."

Really? REALLY? You're protesting the school firing a man who knew one of his coaches was molesting and raping kids? You're rioting because the school fired a man who allowed Sandusky to have continued access to the facilities after he retired? Deep, dark places few people ever entered? Because of FOOTBALL?

That's incredibly disappointing.

In other news, the repeal of DOMA made it past the Senate floor today in a 10-8 victory. Most of the "no" voters were voters by proxy. My guess is they were too busy having a scotch with Sandusky to show up for their jobs to vote against human rights.

Faith, dwindling.

Happy fucking Shambles Thursday, tigers.

A Great Quote

2011-11-09T12:43:00.002-05:00

I was listening to a thing yesterday. Tom Broxson, who survived a 200-ft fall said this:

What doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you.

Amen, brother.

Dirtbag Diaries, check it out.

The Pull Outside

2011-11-08T13:11:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what it is, this pull I feel to be outside, constantly. Maybe it's that the ultimate season is over so I'm not spending 10 hours a day outside at a field site. But one thing I struggled this year as a non-player was not moving. My back is trashed. For the love of all things sacred, bowling hurts. I needed to bench myself.

But as the weather starts to change from hot and gross to cold and gross to gorgeous [today] to cool and crisp to warm and wet and everything in between, I want to be outside.

Today I had to make some store visits - look at signs and space and environments and things. It was nice to get away from my cube, even if the only time I spent outside was between the building and the car, the car and the store, and vice versa. When I got back, I took my sandwich outside. My usual lunch buddies seemed to have buggered to a location off-site, so I ate alone at a bench in the sun, under a tree with leaves trying to find their way into my sandwich when the wind blew.

I gazed up a hill behind our building, full of those trees we're all used to in Pennsylvania. I wished I was amongst them. The pull was so strong, I, for a brief second, considered going inside to tell my managers I was resigning to spend time in the trees.

Silly thought, right?

Maybe I'm looking for insight [or permission?] from Brody or Anne P. here, I'm not sure. But this past month, all I've wanted to do is get outside. And not come back.

It's true that I have the smallest desk in the entire department. I'm also the only person with a window. I wouldn't give it up for much. My cube wall comes up high enough to cover the parking lot, so all I can see is the top of a tree and sky. Right now, the tree is fading from a pretty intense orange/red to dry brown. The leaves are waivering a bit in the wind, struggling to hang on for maybe another week. It's the best looking thing I see all day.

We often pose questions to each other at work - those 'would-you-rather' scenarios - that require a bit of thought. Or so it seems. The question I always ask is, would you rather finish the day in the office or standing outside [in whatever elements happen to be currently out there]. I usually ask when it's 40 and raining. Or 10 and so bitter you start shaking in under a minute. Without fail, everyone I ask says they'd rather finish the day inside, away from bad weather.

My answer, every time, is "outside." Hands down. A little bone chill is something I'm used to, at least it reminds me I'm alive, unlike the hum of the air conditioning or heater, the florescent lights and the corporate carpet.

Let's face it. I'm never going to be sponsored to do anything I love other than the tiny paycheck I get for design. But what is the balance of living your life the way you want to without sacrificing normal responsibility? I have amazing friends whose travels leave me inspired. I wonder where they get the bravery to give up what they're used to and comfortable with to go on adventures that will make them interesting people. Would I hike around outside, climb, camp, etc. for the money I make now? YES. Would I do it for half as much? Yeah, probably. Would I do it for free for a long time if I knew I had something steady to come back to in order to fund the next adventure? Yeah, I would.

But we live in a time or place or country or mindset that makes this unacceptable. The fact is, the friends I have that live this way are far, far outnumbered by the ones who live in the traditional "wake-job-tv-sleep" way. In fact, I count two of them.

When one of my coworkers was kind of given a hard time for visiting her home in Europe [after years of not going home] for three weeks, it made me think, how do people go on these grand adventures? Is it even possible to take a three-month leave [with no pay] and come back to your job? It seems the only way this is possible is to have a baby. You can have a baby every year for five years, work a total of a month each year and be guaranteed your job upon return. But to grow as a human in any other way? Not possible.

And I'm frustrated. I want to go exploring. It will make me a better designer. But I feel so trapped being traditionally responsible, I feel like I'll never get out there.

Happy Weekending

2011-11-07T09:31:00.000-05:00

I do love ultimate. I do. But there is nothing quite like the feeling of taking back your weekends, and since the season has ended, we've done just that, and it's been amazing.

This weekend was one of those that falls under "perfect whirlwind" starting with Friday night. hKL and I went climbing, then glamorously went grocery shopping at 9pm. We're so cool.

Saturday was Mom Day. I spent the afternoon shopping [Christmas research] with her and shooting the breeze. My mom is awesome. She's like that completely amazing mom you see on TV but better because she's hilarious. And also real.

I got home to find hKL ready to go to Piccolo Forno. THIS. IS. ALWAYS. A. GOOD. DECISION.

As we walked past the Wendy's on the way back home I couldn't get over how much this dood in the parking lot looked like Bomtron. And magically, it was Bomtron. Then DB's car pulled into the parking lot and DH was there and omg it was a magic show. We hopped in a car and went to Games 'n' 'at [or something] where we played pinball until our hearts were content, came home, watched a movie and promptly lost consciousness.

Today we did some hiking and climbing and it was exhilarating. This is the second in three [?] weekends I've been able to take an outdoor adventure that wasn't ultimate, and to those still on the 100%-Ultimate-100%-of-the-time Train, sorry, it was awesome. Photos below, some by me, most by hKL.

It was a magical wonderland!

hKL killed it with this one. This makes the task at hand look incredibly daunting, which it was, but for whatever reason, the image would leave you to believe I'm all over it [I wasn't].

climbclimbclimbclimb [but not very high since my safety equipment only involved my hands and feet].

On the move [I'd like to think up, but probably down].

Completely and totally tuckered out, it would make perfect sense that the Family Peterson would come over with a couch, we'd take it up 2 flights of stairs to find it WILL. NOT. go up the third, take it back down, then rearrange our family room by moving every heavy object we can find.

At some point, hKL gets a second wind [speed, maybe?] and cleans everything in sight. Then we died. As happy tigers.

My Battle with the IRS

2011-11-04T13:55:00.001-04:00

I bought a house in 2008 with my now ex-spouse. I moved out of that house in 2009. The house is not mine in any way. My ex-spouse knows this [and currently lives there as far as I know, and if not, it doesn't matter]. Any payments owed on the initial PFHA loan we got in 2008 are my ex-spouse's responsibility [of which my ex-spouse is aware]. The IRS owes me roughly a grand. But they think I owe them $3750 despite my ex-spouse having already paid the owed amount for 2010. That's a $4750 swing in the wrong direction. I make a laughably low annual salary.

Here is a quick rant of the battle I've been having since February 2011 when I filed. I have since spent probably around 15 hours on the phone with the IRS just to be assigned a "taxpayer advocate." The beauty of this is that I have a direct number to call [instead of a general one answered by the "next available representative"] that gives me to the same person each time. The catch? My particular taxpayer advocate is hearing impaired so when I get a call from her, it's through a relay service. Whatever. EOE. The problem? She doesn't answer her phone. Her hours are T-F, 6a - 4p. I've called her every other day for the last two weeks with no returned calls. Her voicemail says she'll return calls within two business days. I called the general number at 7 this morning and didn't have to wait on hold for the first time EVER. After explaining to them that I'm frustrated that they are going to close my case if they don't get any of my documents by today even though I've sent them TWICE, they told me to fax them. I said, you know these are a lot of papers with a lot of personal information [and my ex-spouse's address, but not social security, thankfully]. They're now laying around somewhere in the mail TWICE and how you want me to fax it? Sure, whatever. I do.

I put on my cover page for them to call to confirm receipt. I also call my specific advocate to leave a message [since she does not answer her phone] to tell her to call me to confirm receipt, that I faxed it and got a response from the fax machine that it went through.

I then call the general line. I am on hold for 35 minutes. While at work. I have headphones plugged into my cell so I can continue to work. I then get a random person. My rant is as follows as typed out to hKL.

...back when they assigned direct lines, the case loads were much lighter, now they don't call until the scheduled time [when the eff is that?]. They also don't return calls within two business days despite her voicemail saying that and her never telling me otherwise. the person i spoke to put a note in the almighty system saying to not close the case. she also faxed her [so, she'll get that fax i guess the same time as she gets ALL MY PERSONAL SHIT]. she's not sure if i'll have to do this every year. there is no timeline. it's impossible to get her on the phone. the mail is 'sluggish' or not working. it may take days to get the fax.

i told her, you know i now have TWO envelopes out there with all my personal information and a lot of my ex-spouse's personal information

there is a faxed confirmed to have "gone through" with all this same information. it needs to be taken care of

she gave me the woman's fax, phone and address. i said, i KNOW this information. i sent her my information in the envelope she provided me. WHERE IS IT?

unemployment is effing high in this nation. if case loads are too high, HIRE MORE PEOPLE

if mail is sluggish, HIRE MORE PEOPLE

give me my refund so i can spend my money and aid the economy. stop invseting MY money. i gave you a full year to do that, now i want it back, THAT'S THE POINT, ASSHOLES.

hKL: does that 'note not the close the case' work?

me: well i sure hope so

she said, when she goes to check in on your case, that's the first note she'll see

well when in christ's name will that be?

hKL: i can't imagine how they do anyting with any complication?

yours is so simple.

me: i don't even care about the 1000 anymore

what i care about is not owing them 3750 PLUS INTEREST. when this is sorted, are they going to give me my refund PLUS INTEREST?

that's a 4750$ swing

jesus christ

me: i was on the phone for an hour

AN HOUR

after i was on the phone for like 20 min this morning

THIS IS NOT OKAY

the woman said, what is the best time to reach you?

i said, i've been walking around work with my phone in my pocket for three weeks

if she calls, I WILL ANSWER. i look like a drug dealer

i feel like i can't do anything and leave my phone because i might miss her

and then i'll just never hear from her again and i hate carrying my phone

i said to the woman today, my advocate has been very helpful and kind in the two times i've talked to her, but i can't get in touch with her and i'm not sure if it's a matter of finding time with a relay service, but i'm getting pretty overwhelmed and nervous

"i understand that."

THEN DO SOMETHING

i said, i thought the point of having a direct line was so i could get the same person each time i had a concern or question. instead, i have to call the general line and be on hold for 45 minutes and explain it to a new person every time.

"the case loads are really high."

THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?

my fucking case load at my job is high too. and i'm here, doing TWO different things.

and getting all my shit done ON TIME

... so that's that.

Happy weekend, Tigers.

A Decline in World Population?

2011-11-03T11:48:00.002-04:00

Though we've reached 7 billion, researchers expect an overall decline in world population to start becoming the trend. The math is both simple and complex. It's complex in that we don't [or care to on a wide scale] control the gender of our fetuses and who they meet later in life to procreate with, if they choose not to procreate and how many babies they will decide to have. But it's simple in that if a couple chooses to have one baby, it takes 2 humans to create 1, meaning after a certain amount of time, the population will be halved. Sort of. Again, that's the math in its most simplistic form, but it's not as though everyone's like...okay...bang! Then nine months later tons of kids squirt out at the same time.

An article from NPR is available HERE.

Greenblatt [the author, read it, please] seems to focus on the negative effect of a declining population. His arguments, from my limited knowledge of global population effect seem to be sound. But I'd like to think about the positives of a slightly waning population.

Food:::

There is not a shortage of food on this planet. It's just divvied up like the money is divvied up in America at the moment. But with the allocation of food the way it is, a waning population will mean the globe will require less food production. Less food production for the people who can already afford it, of course, because those are the ones who would stop buying food in the quantities driving production. Those who can't afford food in the first place, generally are the same population who tend to have more children anyway. In this regard, it doesn't seem like people's diets would change all that much, but the globe would require less food production.

Which means less land destruction for crops, animals and animals to eat. Which means less breeding of animals. Which means less methane. Which means less pollution.

Water:::

Water is, to me anyway, a larger issue than food. Plants and animals reproduce, water does not. The less people there are, the less demand there will be on our water supply in the form of hydration, water power, as a cleaning agent, to water crops, etc.

Natural Resources:::
We're running out of resources. Less people will be better. At the rate at which we [Americans especially] consume electricity, gas [for homes and cars], water, etc., they may not outlast too many more generations. Think about what you do each day. Even reading this post, you're using energy. I'm using energy to write it. You use your phone, your car, your stove, microwave, toaster, heater, etc. This isn't wrong. It's how we've become accustom to living. But what happens when the energy runs out?

Earth Replenishment:::
Our forests are being rapidly depleted. Our oceans are full of garbage and are rising over our shores. Our ice caps are melting. Mountains are being blown up and mined. Greenery is cut down to make way for parking lots and blah blah blah. We all know this. We build homes stretching further and further away from cities, shrinking the gap between cities and farms when there are homes that exist that don't sell. Instead of purchasing a run down home for $12k and putting $150k into it, we purchase one for $250k 30 miles outside of the city in which we work, get in our SUVs and drive 6 times further to get to that job. The less people there are, the less urban sprawl would be an issue, the longer the earth would have to replenish itself.

Jobs:::
What's the unemployment rate at the moment? Do you have the job you want in the market you want being paid a fair wage? Even in my city of Pittsburgh, it seems every other person is a freaking graphic designer. A few years ago, I applied for a job on Craigslist. I got a call about an interview a few hours later. When I went in for the interview, the interviewer said he got 150 emails in two hours. A little less saturation would be nice. And perhaps, if each job opening didn't garner 200 responses, corporations/companies couldn't get away with paying $10/hr for a position worth $30/hr. Just maybe. Who knows. But with unemployment as high as it is, people are willing to work for next to nothing just to have something. Less people globally [especially in the educated sector] would mean more demand for workers, not more demand for job openings.

Innovation:::
Part of America's decline, in my humble opinion, is that we don't create anything of value. In the last ten years, instead of making strides in transportation or medicine or this and that, we make fake money and applications for mobile devices. Our best and brightest are hired up to make programs that allow you to track your menstrual cycle on your phone. Newsflash, women have been able to track their menstrual cycles since the beginning of women. We don't need a phone to do it. But there are so many people out there, they need to do something. So we make phone applications and bamboo shirts [which take more energy to produce than they're worth] and new models of cell phones every six months. Take away the masses and purposeful innovation will have to happen. We'll have to come up with more clever solutions to problems and more people will be available to do it.

Overcrowding/living conditions:::
I mean, I feel like this one is obvious. It goes along with earth replenishment and urban sprawl and resources. Island nations like Japan have skyscrapers' worth of apartments and, as a result, have come up with more interesting living solutions. These innovations are great. But one earthquake later, a population is devastated. What if people were more spread out [I suppose an island nation isn't a great example]?

Take note of the poorest populations. What is the first thing to go? Standard of living. You cram as many people as you can in a ghetto [a real ghetto, not 50 Cent's ghetto]. Tin covered shacks, one room per family of 7, no toilet, no clean water. The place where you go to the bathroom is shared by 500 people. Women are afraid leave their homes in the dark out of fear of rape. So they defecate in plastic bags and throw those bags out a window. Those bags fester with germs and attract bugs. You do the math. Less people? Not a bad thing.

It's a completely solvable issue without any intervention/invention/technology:::
Here's the trick - if population decline is truly a problem, people just need to have more babies. There are 7 billion people on this planet, it's evident we know how to get it on. In Romania, birth control was outlawed so more people would have Romanian babies. Archaic, yes. Effective? Also yes. Do we need laws saying every couple must have 3 babies should our population dip too low? Probably not. We probably just need to have sex. Lubbock, Texas has [the last time I checked] the highest rate of teen pregnancy of any place in the United States. Maybe this isn't the population we want procreating with no boundaries, but I don't see this being a major issue. And, if 2959 is the year the last Japanese baby is born with no change in birthing patterns between now and then [which is unlikely], who does that really concern? I think we need to get over our own silly legacies a bit and realize, we'll keep having babies.

I don't think we need to "fret" like the article says we're doing. Plus, less people = more tigers, so you know where I stand.

Dmitri

2011-11-02T11:26:00.001-04:00

Cute. Need It.

2011-11-01T14:12:00.000-04:00

Halloween Hustlin'

2011-10-31T13:23:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween, Tigers!

I hope everyone was able to celebrate the holiday in whatever way they deem fun. I'm not a big fan of dressing up so I usually don't make a big deal of Halloween, but this year I was invited to a party with two costume options. I could wear the dress from the 1800s that belonged to my great great grandmother [and fits me eerily perfectly] or go the standard route: SPANDEX.

Not wanting to disrespect the dress [or ruin it] I chose to be a superhero. hKL was a fork. And together, we hustled the hell out of the party at beer pong. I think our record was 4 straight wins before a team bested us, which was fine with me because I was tired of drinking beer [and you could probably see each one in my spandex...not cool]. Anyway, here are some photos from the weekend courtesy of DreBot and WonderTwin:

The Croatian Sensation, theDeuceCuatro, hKL

Super Offensive Woman

DreBot, the Croatian Sensation

hKL, DreBot, theDeuceCuatro

WonderTwins!!

Some effect on some fancy phone [hKL, theDeuceCuatro, WonderTwin]

THE HUSTLERS

WonderTwin Magic

2011-10-28T13:48:00.002-04:00

These photos are not new, I saved them for this very reason, not having any content.

WonderTwins! You know we're truly wondrous because I look like I'm wearing a cape.

USAU Championships

2011-10-27T14:50:00.000-04:00

Just a quick rant.

hKL got her issue of USA Ultimate Magazine earlier this week [or maybe last, who cares?]. I read it. It sucks. Bad writing, terrible photo-captioning, poor coverage and uncaptivating recaps. Perhaps the weirdest decision was on one of the opening pages to write about how we can market ultimate to more people and underneath were two photos of a junior high school player, one showing him putting on his prosthetic leg and one showing him in action. One of the captions, off the top of my head said something about how his efforts and/or attitude led his team to a victory. But there is no story. There's nothing. Just the caption. Now...you show me a photo of a kid overcoming odds most of us can't fathom, you tell me his team has just won and he's been a big part of it...and you don't tell me anything else? Stupid.

The recap of finals in Women's Masters was hilarious. It was written like a school essay. It read like my writing does when I want to kill myself [I am not, however, a writer]. This is part of the reason why I don't pay dues anymore.

But USAU Championships started today and I find it just a teensy bit ironic that the magazine and all the communication from USAU's CEO seethes with the need to "get ultimate to the masses," and yet reporting of "The Big Show" could only be worse by a small, small margin.

Score Reporter, the place where scores are updated online, has always been a joke of massive proportions. Unless it's a non-Sectionals/Regionals/Nationals weekend, the chances of being able to hit refresh and getting a page update in under three minutes [if a page loads at all] is relatively low. And why you'd be camped out on the site on a different weekend is beyond me. The cost of dues keeps going up even though membership is soaring and they can't invest in some servers? Come on, guys. Even if it does reload, the likelihood of having up-to-date scores is so low, you'd have better luck calling your pals on a rotary phone to try and find someone who knows what the current score is.

Here is a screenshot of something that should not happen:

This year, they've tried to improve streaming games. For that, those of us who play or coach teams that didn't qualify, or are just fans, are thankful. Except in order to watch games, you have to "like" USAU on Facebook. This is a rant for another time, but I HATE having to "like" something on FB to boost its membership only to have access to something else, completely unrelated. I wasn't a fan of USAU before Natties, and I'll unlike it after.

Especially because the streaming sucks. If it's working at all, audio is about 10 seconds ahead of the video. Would you watch any NFL, NHL or NBA game this way? MLB doesn't really matter so much [joke], but honestly, would you?

So I turn to Twitter for updates. But it seems like USAU is only updating scores for 1 game/round. To recap, Facebook is a scam, Score Reporter may as well be defunct, streaming is usually a bust and Twitter is useless. So....reaching the masses?

Fans of the sport will find their best bet for good information and decent writing is somewhere else; individual bloggers and sites. I'd say following individual teams is the best way to get score updates, but we have to remember, teams are playing games, they probably aren't focused on updating Twitter.

But if USAU wants to be taken seriously as the governing body of a sport, it should take seriously the ramifications of what seems to be poor investment in technology and manpower to make the information we seek accessible.

Trees

2011-10-26T14:11:00.002-04:00

I've been hittin' trees since 1980. Well, maybe a few years after that, when I could use my arms better.

iTunes Tuesday, Other Lists

2011-10-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

Last 10 Songs in iTunes:

Wake Up; The Arcade Fire
Button Showers; The White Panda
July Flame; Laura Veirs
A Walk; Tycho
Pathetic Senses; the Cranberries
Playboy Mommy; Tori Amos
Under My Skin; Rachael Yamagata
Criminal; Uh Huh Her
Old Woodstock; Van Morrison
Government Hooker; Lady Gaga

Five things I could do without:

Migraines
A tire with a leak
Cat vomit
MIGRAINES
A 5-day work week

Five things I wish I had at my disposal RIGHT NOW:

Bailey's Irish Cream
Dmitri
A pillow
Chocolate
My Playmobil pirate ship

Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Swinging From Trees, Sticks

2011-10-24T11:52:00.000-04:00

Apart from it being the month in which we're aware of the existence of breast cancer, my aunt NH came to visit from Tennessee and we took the opportunity to visit my other aunt's [her and my dad's sister] grave and nature trail.

I've gone over the history before. Recap: my dad is the oldest of five, has three younger sisters and a younger brother. Two of his sisters have passed away after fighting breast cancer. The one we visited this past weekend was 37.

And a badass to boot. Swimmer. Rugby player. Avid hiker and nature lover. Supermom. Hilarious. Muscles that could crush you.

She chose, of course, a burial site with a helluva view, straight up a hill. With the camera resting on the gravestone, this is what she sees when she gets up in the morning:

After we spent some time there, I climbed a tree.

Then the adventure began. MS had made such an impact on her community, a Nature Trail was created in her honor. It was placed behind her son's grade school to be used as a teaching tool. We're talking labeled trees, a lined trail, a heart-shaped pond and an amphitheater. My family hadn't been there in an embarrassingly long time, so finding it was proving to be a pretty hard task. After we drove by her old house we found the school and what we'd feared seemed to be true. The trail had not been maintained, the sign was gone and the trailhead was no where to be found.

My mom decided it wasn't the place. We drove a way up the same road looking for another school building, but not finding one, turned around and went back. Rummaging around on the edge of the woods, my dad and I found a place to get in to the thorn-heavy woods and try to see down the hill. This had to be it, and we were going to find the pond if it killed us.

My dad spots water off in the distance. There's grumbling about the way we came in, not remembering it looking like this and blah blah blah but there is water and we need to get to it. After some sinking in mud and slipping and trapsing our way to the water we all just kind of stare at it.

It doesn't appear to be in the shape of a heart anymore. And it's bigger than we all remember. No one really wants to say it, but we're all a bit disappointed. My mom doesn't think this is the place. My dad and I kind of do. Plus, if it isn't, where is it?

We start our trek back up a different hill and end up exiting the woods into someone's backyard. And of course, he's in it. We explain that we were looking for this nature trail and a pond and we're just really stupid and sorry. He has no idea what we're talking about.

Maybe it was selfish, but him having no idea what trail or who we were talking about was a bit offensive. What do you mean you didn't know who my aunt was? You haven't ever heard of the freaking trail that was right behind your house? As if my disappointment in seeing it gone-to-shit wasn't bad enough, now this man is telling me things that give the impression it didn't matter that it ever even existed. That it didn't matter that she existed. He's clearly overwhelmed by the 5 adults who've just intruded on his Saturday and his best response is, "Let me get my wife."

The nice lady comes out to explain to us that, yes, she knows the Mary Nature Trail, the kids use it all the time. It's a few miles down the road [right after the spot where we turned around].

WE MOVE.

Getting there, we find the sign completely hidden behind some briar bushes, but this is an easily solvable problem when I get my dad and I giant sticks to clear the area. Here's some photography of the afternoon, provided by hKL [thank you for that].

Where is the sign?

There is the sign.

Found it.

Close-up

I was not yet happy with our progress.

Stevens.

Cleared.

Trailhead.

Mom and NH check out the tree signs. They learn some things. Because that's what MS wanted.

I still wasn't happy with the trailhead.

On the trail.

Moving toward the heart-shaped pond.

Walking around the pond.

Hugging my NH!

The heart-shaped pond